Quit Cumming, Save MANkind: The Detrimental Effects of Porn

porn hardoff

Watching porn only takes up like half of your day, it can’t be that bad! cracked.com

Though we’re a news site, I strive not to post on the bummers unless there are solutions to couple with ’em, especially when it comes to porn. The mainstream fear mongers feed enough of that drivel to the hungry baby boomer crowd, and here, we want your life to be better, at least in some way. So when I lay this terrible news on you, don’t freak out; there is an easy fix…

Get ready for…

Raw unbridled power. Soon you’ll have unparalleled focus, strength, and animal-magnetism enveloping your being like some all-mighty aura of tenacious suavity. Awesomeness. But first…

Before we take a stab at why you don’t have these things, women, this article isn’t meant for you. Glean some nifty tricks if you can, but the research happens to all be aimed at the fellas. And be forewarned, the Pandora’s Box of the male psyche really is disturbingly straight forward, so endeavor further at your own peril.

porn thumb drive

There are activities besides porn where my thumbs can come in handy? http://blogannath.blogspot.com

Gentlemen, I have some mixed news for you regarding porn. We’ve been shooting ourselves in the groin for countless generations, completely oblivious. As it turns out, when our monkey forefathers sprouted opposable thumbs nearly 70 million years ago, they launched our chimp brothers into a vortex of technological advancement, but unfortunately, in this same step, doomed our fraternal lineage to a fate of epidemic depression, anxiety, inferiority-complexes and erectile-dysfunction. No need to take bolt cutters to that wonderful fifth digit, there is an easier fix.

What’s wrong with my thumbs? And what does it have to do with porn?

Aside from allowing us, collectively, to construct tools, carry said tools, flush toilets and headshot noobs, our thumbs have been responsible for basically all of civilization as we know it, separating us through dexterity from the rest of the animal kingdom. Similarly magnanimous, from the pyramids of Giza to sliced bread, every great human advancement those little babies have rendered us capable of has stemmed from a single, all-encompassing species-driving motive: we wanted to impress women. Literally, all facets of culture and society can be broken into that basest motivation: mating. So when our primate cousins found their fingers all those generations ago, suddenly the rules of the game changed, because our every hardwired purpose for living could now be overridden in one effortless squirt. I’m talking about masturbation.

Don’t get all preachy on me now!

Relax. This isn’t some moralistic pseudo-religious naysaying on the evils of your naughty bits. The palm hair is safe.

The capacity to watch porn and masturbate has put us in a dilemma. We have a choice as men: we can study hard, trouncing all competitors, create an empire, amass a fortune, and (possibly) win the affections of some elusive supermodel goddess. Or, for the price of a bottle of Lubriderm and a stolen Wi-Fi connection, we can download ultra-high resolution close-ups of lady-bits and let our imaginations skip all that effort.

Low hanging fruit tastes better, we like to pretend.

I happen to enjoy my porn, thank you! Why is that a problem? 

It isn’t, necessarily. But there are definite drawbacks. Each ejaculation takes a toll on the philanderer’s wellbeing in several potent ways.

First, with each climax, a man losses a whole slew of essential vitamins and nutrients because semen is designed to give as much of a fighting chance to the new embryo as possible. In fact, each time we cum, we lose the protein equivalent of a large egg. That’s why we just want to nap afterward or find the whole thing gross; literally, our entire physiology is designed to propel us into this point of mutual orgasm, storing massive energy reserves to be spent at copulation, not to be squandered into a crusty sock.

Worse still, ejaculation expels testosterone reserves. Every fap session makes you less of a man in a very real sense, depleting you of your very chemical maleness (This does not apply to actual sex, however, which we’ll look at shortly. High-five!). Lastly, and we’ve covered this deeper in previous articles, masturbation effects dopamine levels on a similar scale to heroin, leading to obsessive-compulsiveness, thought-disorders, social anxiety and depression. Be honest, at some level, does that seem familiar?

You said there was good news?

Indeed, I did. Friends, if you masturbate because porn is easy and getting laid eludes you, we have some great news. Masturbating is why you’re not getting laid. You see, each time you lose that testosterone, first your body produces less pheromones, your natural arousal cologne, and the renewed secretion of pheromones creates this cloud of alpha-male essence around you, effortlessly attracting women and impressing your dominance upon fellow men.

Better still, with this unsquandered natural energy and social prowess, comfort and confidence in your own skin skyrockets, and your body instinctually makes you want to set aside the MMORPG’s and interact with other humans. You’re a natural at talking to girls, just not so much after the instant gratification of manual stimulation. Face to face socializing is what you were designed for.

Too good to be true? There are thousands of first-hand accounts of 180 degree life changes from simply giving your little buddy a rest, and closing out of the porn site. There are also massive support communities to help the transition into the new Casanova lifestyle. We all love our porn fellas, and the idea of losing our parents to cholera is probably more soothing than withdrawal from the sweet, sweet glories of a photoshopped Kate Upton…

porn kate upton

Damn, she looks good. But guess what? So do real girls. Porn is a poor substitute.

So how bout a quick self-check:

  • Do you exercise, dress classy, and/or groom your billy-goat beard from time to time, but still feel invisible to women?
  • Have you read any how-to’s by Neal Strauss?
  • Did you linger at that last photo (we all did)?
  • Does there seem like a collective decision by all woman-kind to blue-ball you?
  • Do you suspect you give the vibe of a man passing out candy from his windowless van?
  • Is your go-to stress relief the instant-gratification of internet porn?

Back to the science: Something About Mary had it backwards. Just go a few days without relief and a switch flips. Suddenly, you’re the center of everyone’s attention. Oh, thank God (teeth were gritted down to nubs of insecurity).

Can we talk about Porn?

I thought you’d never ask. Porn, fantastic as it may be, acts directly on the addiction centers of the brain. Our caveman minds are, frankly, not equipped for handling the endless feast of flesh at our fingertips thanks to the internet, because, physiologically, sex is geared to be the highest possible reward meant only for the healthiest most contributing-to-the-tribe males. This instant access is a major cause of the growing trend in apathy in the developed world. With the dopamine high of life’s ultimate purpose so reticently available, there is a dwindling (possibly non-human) percentage driven to true accomplishments.

Come on. It’s natural to like to look at women.

Totally. That’s not the point. No one’s judging. No one want’s to be told one of their favorite pastimes is a drain on them, or worse, that it’s an addiction. That’s between you and your penis to decide. By no means are we suggesting you become celibate (though many of the great minds in history went that route), or that you focus your chi to transmute your sex energy, but if your gut instinct was defensiveness, maybe try the no porn challenge for kicks.

As with all addictions, porn needs escalation to get the same thrill. So soft-core turns to hardcore turns to fetishes to taboos and tentacle-rape to friction scars and cut out front-pockets for easy access, until you’re crying over a bottle of merlot fantasizing about accidental eye-contact with the hostess at Applebee’s. (That’s universal, right?)

To getting a life. Cheers.

 

 

 

Sources:

5 Reasons Women are as Shallow as Men

7 Craziest Things Ever Done to Get Laid

The End of Low Hanging Fruit?

Composition of Human Semen

AskMen: What’s in Sperm?

Journal of Psychology: Sexual Exhaustion in Male Rats

Wondergressive: Sex is Just a Lack of Disgust

PubMed.gov: Ejaculation and Testosterone

Wondergressive: You and Your Internet on Porn

American Journal of Psychology: Subjective Experiences of Dopamine Depletion

PubMed.gov: Pheromonal Influences on Sociosexual Behavior in Men

Subject Experiences of Positive Porn Abstinence

IMDB: There’s Something About Mary 

Philip Zimbardo: Your Brain on Porn

Wondergressive: A Note on the Top 1%

A History of Celibacy 

Celibate Celebrities

The Mystery of Sex Transmutation

The 10 Steps to Porn Addiction

Oculolinctus: Eye Fetish

The Extraordinary Benefits of Magic Mushrooms

 

Researchers have found time and time again that the majority of people who ingest a psychedelic substance like psilocybin (one of the major psychoactive constituents in magic mushrooms) experience long lasting, and extremely positive personality changes. 

If you have ever ingested these awe-filled spores, or know anyone that has, you have probably heard them say the term “set and setting.”  This means that the expereince of the “trip” depends entirely upon the set (a person’s personality, their desires, their emotional stability, their beliefs, etc.) and the setting (where you are, who you are with, the time of day).  Altering any one variable completely changes the experience overall.  I like to call it “self-chemistry.”

Researchers are now realizing with greater understanding that ‘set and setting’ isn’t just hippie jargon, it’s a science.  People with the highest levels of absorption, or “a person’s tendency to have episodes of “total” attention where a person’s awareness is fully engaged in whatever has their interest,” seem to have the most life changing and beneficial experiences while under the effect of mushrooms.  Absorption is directly related to the personality trait openness, “which relates to a person’s receptiveness to new ideas and experiences.”

A study focusing on varying levels of absorption and openness in people found that “people who experienced what the researchers described as a “complete mystical experience” developed increased openness to experience whereas those who did not have such an experience had no increase in openness.  People who are more open to their inner experience seem more likely to have a mystical experience and those who have a mystical experience tend to become more open as a result.”  The more open you are, the more open you will become. The study also noted that although modern research has found that personality change, be it positive or negative, in adults over 30, is almost never observed.  Psilocybin, however, is able to affect and alter personality in adults of any age with effects lasting more than a year after the experience.

Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine is one of the leading centers of research on psilocybin.  Throughout their studies they have found that ingesting the substance creates “positive changes in attitudes, mood, life satisfaction, and behavior that persist for more than a year”

In one study, Johns Hopkins found that “94 percent of the study’s 18 participants rated their experiences with psilocybin as among the top five most or as the top most spiritually significant experience of his or her life at a 14-month follow-up. Eighty-four percent also reported positive changes in their behaviors, changes like improved relationships with family and others, increased physical and psychological self-care, and increased devotion to spiritual practice, which were corroborated by family members and others.”

One of the participants in the test even stated that “I feel that I relate better in my marriage, there is more empathy – a greater understanding of people and understanding their difficulties and less judgment.”

Most participants described their experience as  ‘pleasurable’ or ‘ineffably beautiful.’

As a note, the most profound and long lasting effects were found to occur in participants who had experienced a low dosage of the chemical before ingesting larger dosages.

The studies have found minimal physical side effects, ranging from “a brief increase in blood pressure and a small increase in levels of thyroid-stimulating-hormone (TSH), prolactin, cortisol, and adrenocorticotropic hormone.” None of the side effects were considered dangerous by professional medical staff.

The staff concluded that “psilocybin is remarkably non-toxic to the bodyʼs organ systems.”

The study does mention that it is important that a “sitter,” or a person who is not ingesting the substance, be present.  This person should be someone that the person ingesting the substance trusts and can depend on if they begin to experience anxiety.  There were people in the study who experienced brief fear and anxiety, but all of the negative experiences were abated immediately with gentleness and by simply having a trusting person present.

  • Improved marriage
  • No age dependence
  • Increased empathy
  • Greater openness
  • Positive and long-lasting personality alterations
  • Improved creativity
  • Less judgement
  • Greater understanding
  • A greater feeling of connectedness
  • Therapeutic
  • No health risks
  • No danger
  • Proven effectiveness
  • Pleasurable
  • Ineffably beautiful

What are you waiting for?

The Extraordinary Benefits of Psilocybin in Magic Mushrooms

 

Researchers have found time and time again that the majority of people who ingest a psychedelic substance like psilocybin (one of the major psychoactive constituents in magic mushrooms) experience long lasting, extremely positive personality changes. 

If you have ever ingested these awe-filled spores, or know anyone that has, you have probably heard them say the term “set and setting.”  This means that the expereince of the “trip” depends entirely upon the set (a person’s personality, their desires, their emotional stability, their beliefs, etc.) and the setting (where you are, who you are with, the time of day).  Altering any one variable completely changes the experience overall.  I like to call it “self-chemistry.”

Researchers are now realizing with greater understanding that ‘set and setting’ isn’t just hippie jargon, it’s a science.  People with the highest levels of absorption, or a person’s tendency to experiencing complete attention, where a person’s awareness is fully engaged in whatever is holding their interest, seem to have the most life changing and beneficial experiences while under the effect of magic mushrooms.  Absorption is directly related to the personality trait openness, which relates to a person’s receptiveness to new ideas and experiences.

A study focusing on varying levels of absorption and openness in people found that

people who experienced what the researchers described as a ‘complete mystical experience’ developed increased openness to experience whereas those who did not have such an experience had no increase in openness.  People who are more open to their inner experience seem more likely to have a mystical experience and those who have a mystical experience tend to become more open as a result.

The more willing you are to change, the more open you will become. The study also noted that although positive or negative personality change in adults over 30 is almost never observed, psilocybin has the profound ability to affect and alter personality in adults of any age with effects lasting more than a year after the experience.

Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine is one of the leading centers of research on psilocybin.  Throughout their studies they have found that ingesting psilocybin even once creates profound

positive changes in attitudes, mood, life satisfaction, and behavior that persist for more than a year.

In one study, Johns Hopkins found that

94 percent of the study’s 18 participants rated their experiences with psilocybin as among the top five most or as the top most spiritually significant experience of his or her life at a 14-month follow-up. 84 percent also reported positive changes in their behaviors, changes like improved relationships with family and others, increased physical and psychological self-care, and increased devotion to spiritual practice, which were corroborated by family members and others.

One of the participants in the test even stated that

I feel that I relate better in my marriage, there is more empathy – a greater understanding of people and understanding their difficulties and less judgment.

Most participants described their experience as  ‘pleasurable’ or ‘ineffably beautiful.’

As a note, the most profound and long lasting effects were found to occur in participants who had experienced a low dosage of the chemical before ingesting larger dosages.

The studies have found minimal physical side effects, ranging from

a brief increase in blood pressure and a small increase in levels of thyroid-stimulating-hormone (TSH), prolactin, cortisol, and adrenocorticotropic hormone.

None of the side effects were considered dangerous by professional medical staff.

The staff concluded that

psilocybin is remarkably non-toxic to the bodyʼs organ systems.

The study does mention that it is important that a “sitter,” or a person who is not ingesting the substance, be present.  This person should be someone that the person ingesting the substance trusts and can depend on if they begin to experience anxiety.  There were people in the study who experienced brief fear and anxiety, but all of the negative experiences were abated immediately with gentleness and by simply having a trusting person present. The highlights of magic mushroom ingestion:

  • Improved marriage
  • No age dependence
  • Increased empathy
  • Greater openness
  • Positive and long-lasting personality alterations
  • Improved creativity
  • Less judgement
  • Greater understanding
  • A greater feeling of connectedness
  • Therapeutic
  • No health risks
  • No danger (as long as a ‘sitter’ is present)
  • Proven effectiveness
  • Pleasurable
  • Ineffably beautiful
What are you waiting for?

 

Sources:

Psilocybin

Magic Mushrooms Improve Personality

Psychology Today: Psilocybin and Personality

PLOS ONE: Psilocybin Response in Healthy Volunteers

Journal of Psychopharmacology: Mystical Experience of Psilocybin and Openness

Long Lasting Positive Effects of Magic Mushrooms