Obesity and Low Carb Fads: Where Did We Go Wrong? (Part 1)

 

The rate of obesity in America and the West is just as much in an incline as low fat and low carb diet fads. Do you know someone who successfully lost weight recently from a strictly low fat diet?

 

Obesity and Low Fat Diets

Low fat diet fads started to appear in the 1980s, but the obesity rate then was nowhere close to what it is now. Also, after the introduction of low fat diets, the rate of obesity did not fall, rather it increased. So where did we go wrong?

Food Portions

Food Portions

For the past 20 or 30 years, ads for low fat food products started to proliferate the market at an alarming rate. What also increased at a steady pace was the average American food portion. Furthermore, there was a rapid replacement of fat with carbohydrates, including sugars. For the food companies to be able to produce products that people would salivate over, this was a necessary step. This is a step backward in the fight against obesity. Let’s not forget that the food companies don’t have our best interest in mind. The amount of ingredients also doubled, or even tripled for some items, such as JIF peanut butter. Try to compare the ingredient list between the regular JIF peanut butter and the low fat version.

 

Enter Low Carb Diets

 

After seeing that obesity was far from being solved by a low fat diet fad, we turned to a new approach; limiting our carbohydrate intake. We have realized that we are consuming way too many simple and processed carbohydrates. Carbohydrates make up the majority of a Westerner’s diet. We saw the rise of such diets as the Atkins diet. There are countless forms of low carb diets out there. This seems to have partially solved the problem as lowering overall carbohydrate intake does decrease the rate of obesity to a certain extent (many studies have even linked low carb diet with blocking the effects of aging!). Despite many successful cases, the West is still fighting obesity more than ever. Perhaps there is a crack in this low carb diet that needs to be patched up.

 

Successful High Carb Diets

 

A local tribe in Papua New Guinea called the Kitavans have a diet that is comprised of 65% carbs, 17% saturated fat, and high fiber, yet their obesity rate is at 0%. Literally no obesity at all has been reported thus far. They are also not prone to strokes, diabetes, nor heart disease. Their diet mainly consists of starchy root vegetables, fruit, some fish and meat, and coconuts. Food is also abundant and they don’t suffer from scarcity.

The Machiguenga people, local to Peru, also have a diet that is high in carbohydrates and fiber. Their diet also consists of mainly root vegetables, fruits and nuts. Meat and fish are eaten in low amounts. These people also don’t have reported cases of obesity.

The Mexican Pima Indians have a diet that roughly consists of 62% carbohydrates, high fiber intake, and 25% saturated fat. There is a 7% obesity rate in males, and 20% obesity rate in females. Incidence of diabetes is at 7%. Their diet mostly consists of beans, wheat-flour tortillas, corn tortillas, and potatoes.

Just across the border, the Arizona Pima Indians have a diet that consists of 49% carbohydrates, 15% protein, 34% fat, and more than 10% of it is saturated fat. Even though they consume less carbohydrates, the obesity rate in males is 64%, and in females it is 75%. Over 30% have been reported to have diabetes. The big difference between the two people is in their diet. The Arizona Pima Indians consumed fried breakfasts, processed meats, hamburgers, pork chops, beans, white bread, flour tortillas, fried or baked dough, cereals, canned foods, and fruit juices.

 

The Culprit: Carbohydrate Density

 

According to the National Institute of Health, the diet of these people is closely tied to the diets of people in the Paleolithic period. The main trait that these people share is consuming cellular carbohydrates as opposed to acellular ones. Foods that have living cells such as fruits and vegetables contain the carbohydrates inside the cells themselves. The maximum density of carbohydrates that a cell will allow is at 23%. Most of the cell’s mass is comprised of water. When digesting these sources of carbohydrates, it also takes time for the stomach to break up the cellular walls and take in the energy from the carbs.

Acellular carb sources, on the other hand, are very simple in form and contain no cellular walls. There is nothing between them and the stomach microbiota. They are easily taken in by the body and swiftly used. These include all wheat products, grains, and sugars. These are also what currently dominate the ingredient lists in Western diets. All things being equal, macronutrients, amount of carb intake, calorie intake, etc.; it is the foods with the higher carb density that relate to the promotion of obesity. The chart in the beginning of the article shows foods (in grey) that are dominant in the modern diet, and the ancestral diet (white).

The discussion about carbohydrate density and its relation to obesity will continue in a follow up article, but for now, the main point that I am trying to summarize is: stick to foods that have a lower carbohydrate density, and you will be more than likely to prevent obesity.

 

Sources

 

Wondergressive:Low Carb/Low Calorie Diet Produces Compound that Blocks Effects of Aging

Wondergressive: The Obese Shall Inherit the Earth

Wondergressive: Save the Food Pyramid by Cutting it by the Limbs

PubMed.gov: Comparison with Ancestral Diet Suggestion

PubMed.gov: Ancestral Diets Table

PubMed.fov: Carbohydrate Density of Ancestral Foods 

Image Source: http://paducah2poland.blogspot.com/2012/06/dont-be-ignorant-know-your-food.html

The Amazing Bacon, Beer and Edible Underwear Diet

junk-food-sexy-2

obviouswinner.com

America, home to hordes of insecure anorexic teens, overly-secure fatties, and wide enough for a plethora of crazy fad-diet trends to render a “Madea Goes Jihad” premier speechless. So anyone not yet convinced they’re fat either hasn’t encountered a magazine, TV, billboard, pop-up ad, mirror or unfiltered reaction from a child in a super-long while, or the rock of self-deception they live under could give Devil’s Tower pause (no offense DT). So when I shell out this ludicrous claim of a bacon beer and edible underwear diet, I totally understand anyone who rolled their eyes and skipped to the next StumbleUpon link, but seeing as you’re eyes are still scrolling, giving me the benefit of the doubt, let’s make it worth your while…

How would you feel about eating honey-glazed 6 lb bricks of gorgonzola cheese stuffed with chocolate mousse while, in the same swallow, dropping weight quicker than your budget’ll permit you to replace your wardrobe? Throw on an extra slab of butter and settle in for a healthier, happier, fitter you…

In 2003-4, when cutting carbs was all the rage with the trendy fitness seekers, Dr. Robert Atkins was something of a messiah, and for good reason. The Atkins diet had, for those with the tenacity to adhere to its stringent formula, boasted nearly a 100% success rate.

main_f1

blog.timesunion.com

Unfortunately, effective as it may have been, the Atkins Diet fell out of vogue shortly after its rise to fame due in large part to expense (Atkins eating cost 80% over an average American diet), and, more so, the bleak future his disciples realizes when it struck them: THEY CAN NEVER HAVE A DOUGHNUT AGAIN!!! Before fading into obscurity, however, he gave us the foundation for what will soon be the cornerstone to changing our lives for the greater.

Now if you’ve ever tried a fad diet and failed, that’s totally fine, though it is demoralizing. 95% of the newly-health-inclined turn back to a steady intake of  chicken-fried McDoubles and butter-slathered Doritos within a week. No need to beat yourself up (but don’t be too proud either). While this subject of fat loss is a massive one (yes, it was intended), minus a small few of us with genetic disorders, the failure of our collective willpower, fortunately, can boil down to three simple fixes:

1. Self-control is overrated.

Let’s pull up our sweatpants for a moment, wipe the crumbs from our chinny-chins, and gorge a big guilt-free meal (to the point of bursting). We’re going shopping the smart way, stuffed, thus with utterly no desire to consume a morsel. This way, all the gimmicky flashing lights of the supermarket, the ones strategically positioned for herding cattle as efficiently as possible, will pose far less a threat to our will-power. Haven’t you found it far easier to give a friendly “no thanks” wave to the lady passing out free pizza samples when you have a nauseated gut?

Next, as we’re human, we naturally want to do what requires the least effort, so let’s use that to our advantage; work smarter not harder. To subvert temptation rid yourself of temptations. When carrots and hummus are the sole items in the fridge, despite the supermarket being just next door, guess what we’ll eat?

Finally, and I’m not promoting apathy here, but two consecutive hours of running, while certainly an impressive feat to spam to Twitter, burns a mere 1000 calories (equivalent of a single White Castle chocolate shake). Running is fantastic, but sadly not the super-slimming-strategy it’s generally considered to be. So how are skinny people even a thing if the numbers are so outrageous? …Hold your horses.

2. Metabolisms plateau and rebound even with the most restrained of us.

60% of the success at beginning diets, even among the most persevering maniacs, is water weight. The human body is an absolute marvel of nature, capable of maintaining itself with minimal fluctuation. That means as one adjusts one’s habits, the body kicks whatever mechanism it has to into gear to maintain the status quo. This is why diet/exercise tends to hit a peak. Millions of generations of experience have trained the human body to maintain itself, and if we attempt to alter that balance, either the brain will jump in and override our will with a barrage of chemicals that cripple us with waffle-cravings, or the metabolism will slug-down to compensate for the new regimen; either way, assuring the same level of jiggle is maintained. To win this battle, we’re gonna have to fight dirty and hit ’em with an unexpected blow…

3. Solution: bacon, beer, edible underwear and whatever the hell else we want; as much as we can shove down our face-holes without ripping at the spare-tire.

Never is a terrifying word. I want my candy. I want my soda, my Redbull, beer-battered cod, deep-dish-pizza and the occasional pumpkin-pie binge, so of course the idea of NEVER having these things just for an extra couple years of life is crazy (those years are at the END, anyway). So if that bastard body of mine wants to undermine all my hard effort, let’s hit him where it hurts, right in the calories.

You see, a major reason diets are unsuccessful is not for lack of effort. Many of our hefty friends can see the coronary around the corner and fight the good fight only to drop a single pound after 15 hours on the bike. Instead, because the body is so good at what it does, our efforts to skinny-down are taken as an attack (Brain says, “Oh, shit, I guess we’re starving now”), so the metabolism compensates to keep us where we were, creating a green-eating, marathon-running, still-fat guy. Often the whole process is so discouraging that the dieter will relapse into even less healthy of a lifestyle.

That’s why we fight back, courageously, with the mighty cannon-fodder of junk food. See, strategically consuming garbage kicks the metabolism in the ass enough to throw it off kilter, never quite settling into a steady normalcy. Crazy as it sounds, binging on fatty foods, in the right circumstances, leads to weight loss.

Get the heck out of here!!!

We need to cheat… but cheat strategically.

What started as a blog post in 2007, “How to Lose 20 lbs. of Fat in 30 Days… Without Doing Any Exercise”, evolved into a how-to on 100 lbs of fat loss and now has become something of legend, with mythical cult status. Ultimate lifestyle engineer Tim Ferris created something that shatters the paradigm of health science, and his legacy will forever be carved into the annals of the obese because his method, simply, is easy and it works.

 

Tell me!! Tell me!! Quick, I’m getting hungry.

The slow-carb diet (as he calls it) has only 4 simple tenets, no calorie counting or complicated matrices to learn:

1. No white carbs

2. No drinking calories

3. Repeat the same few meals

4. Cheat

We receive no royalties from Tim for promoting his book, so how about a quick sample diet (alter to your desires):

Sunday – Friday:

  • Breakfast: scrambled eggs with sautéed spinach, chic-peas and chunky salsa.
  • Lunch: protein smoothie (raw kale greens, peanut-butter, almond milk, protein powder).
  • Dinner: ground chuck with mixed vegetables and lentils.
  • Before bed: 2 glasses of red wine (optional).

Saturday:

  • 3 pints of Ben & Jerry’s, Brick of mozzarella, dozen Kristy Crèmes, an Ultimate Pizza Sandwich, 6 triple quarter-pounders w/ cheese dipped in unprocessed lard, 12 stack of crème cheese-stuffed French toast, 2 babies and a diet coke.

Don’t believe me? Frankly I barely do either, and I’ve lost 40 lbs and counting with this lunacy. So all y’all skeptics check out the following links or just take my word for it and spend your valuable time doing more important things, like liking Wondergressive on Facebook.

 

 

Sources:

  1. Wondergressive: Obese Shall Inherit the Earth
  2. dailystrength.org
  3. forbes.com
  4. mann.bol.ucla.edu
  5. cdc.gov
  6. businessinsider.com
  7. nutristrategy.com
  8. calorielab.com
  9. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
  10. books.google
  11. dietandfitnessresources.co.uk
  12. fourhourworkweek.com (twice)

*Note: I’m neither a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, so don’t be stupid; do your due-diligence. For being awesome enough to read to the bottom, here’s a song about a guy who worships doughnuts…

 

Quit Cumming, Save MANkind: The Detrimental Effects of Porn

porn hardoff

Watching porn only takes up like half of your day, it can’t be that bad! cracked.com

Though we’re a news site, I strive not to post on the bummers unless there are solutions to couple with ’em, especially when it comes to porn. The mainstream fear mongers feed enough of that drivel to the hungry baby boomer crowd, and here, we want your life to be better, at least in some way. So when I lay this terrible news on you, don’t freak out; there is an easy fix…

Get ready for…

Raw unbridled power. Soon you’ll have unparalleled focus, strength, and animal-magnetism enveloping your being like some all-mighty aura of tenacious suavity. Awesomeness. But first…

Before we take a stab at why you don’t have these things, women, this article isn’t meant for you. Glean some nifty tricks if you can, but the research happens to all be aimed at the fellas. And be forewarned, the Pandora’s Box of the male psyche really is disturbingly straight forward, so endeavor further at your own peril.

porn thumb drive

There are activities besides porn where my thumbs can come in handy? http://blogannath.blogspot.com

Gentlemen, I have some mixed news for you regarding porn. We’ve been shooting ourselves in the groin for countless generations, completely oblivious. As it turns out, when our monkey forefathers sprouted opposable thumbs nearly 70 million years ago, they launched our chimp brothers into a vortex of technological advancement, but unfortunately, in this same step, doomed our fraternal lineage to a fate of epidemic depression, anxiety, inferiority-complexes and erectile-dysfunction. No need to take bolt cutters to that wonderful fifth digit, there is an easier fix.

What’s wrong with my thumbs? And what does it have to do with porn?

Aside from allowing us, collectively, to construct tools, carry said tools, flush toilets and headshot noobs, our thumbs have been responsible for basically all of civilization as we know it, separating us through dexterity from the rest of the animal kingdom. Similarly magnanimous, from the pyramids of Giza to sliced bread, every great human advancement those little babies have rendered us capable of has stemmed from a single, all-encompassing species-driving motive: we wanted to impress women. Literally, all facets of culture and society can be broken into that basest motivation: mating. So when our primate cousins found their fingers all those generations ago, suddenly the rules of the game changed, because our every hardwired purpose for living could now be overridden in one effortless squirt. I’m talking about masturbation.

Don’t get all preachy on me now!

Relax. This isn’t some moralistic pseudo-religious naysaying on the evils of your naughty bits. The palm hair is safe.

The capacity to watch porn and masturbate has put us in a dilemma. We have a choice as men: we can study hard, trouncing all competitors, create an empire, amass a fortune, and (possibly) win the affections of some elusive supermodel goddess. Or, for the price of a bottle of Lubriderm and a stolen Wi-Fi connection, we can download ultra-high resolution close-ups of lady-bits and let our imaginations skip all that effort.

Low hanging fruit tastes better, we like to pretend.

I happen to enjoy my porn, thank you! Why is that a problem? 

It isn’t, necessarily. But there are definite drawbacks. Each ejaculation takes a toll on the philanderer’s wellbeing in several potent ways.

First, with each climax, a man losses a whole slew of essential vitamins and nutrients because semen is designed to give as much of a fighting chance to the new embryo as possible. In fact, each time we cum, we lose the protein equivalent of a large egg. That’s why we just want to nap afterward or find the whole thing gross; literally, our entire physiology is designed to propel us into this point of mutual orgasm, storing massive energy reserves to be spent at copulation, not to be squandered into a crusty sock.

Worse still, ejaculation expels testosterone reserves. Every fap session makes you less of a man in a very real sense, depleting you of your very chemical maleness (This does not apply to actual sex, however, which we’ll look at shortly. High-five!). Lastly, and we’ve covered this deeper in previous articles, masturbation effects dopamine levels on a similar scale to heroin, leading to obsessive-compulsiveness, thought-disorders, social anxiety and depression. Be honest, at some level, does that seem familiar?

You said there was good news?

Indeed, I did. Friends, if you masturbate because porn is easy and getting laid eludes you, we have some great news. Masturbating is why you’re not getting laid. You see, each time you lose that testosterone, first your body produces less pheromones, your natural arousal cologne, and the renewed secretion of pheromones creates this cloud of alpha-male essence around you, effortlessly attracting women and impressing your dominance upon fellow men.

Better still, with this unsquandered natural energy and social prowess, comfort and confidence in your own skin skyrockets, and your body instinctually makes you want to set aside the MMORPG’s and interact with other humans. You’re a natural at talking to girls, just not so much after the instant gratification of manual stimulation. Face to face socializing is what you were designed for.

Too good to be true? There are thousands of first-hand accounts of 180 degree life changes from simply giving your little buddy a rest, and closing out of the porn site. There are also massive support communities to help the transition into the new Casanova lifestyle. We all love our porn fellas, and the idea of losing our parents to cholera is probably more soothing than withdrawal from the sweet, sweet glories of a photoshopped Kate Upton…

porn kate upton

Damn, she looks good. But guess what? So do real girls. Porn is a poor substitute.

So how bout a quick self-check:

  • Do you exercise, dress classy, and/or groom your billy-goat beard from time to time, but still feel invisible to women?
  • Have you read any how-to’s by Neal Strauss?
  • Did you linger at that last photo (we all did)?
  • Does there seem like a collective decision by all woman-kind to blue-ball you?
  • Do you suspect you give the vibe of a man passing out candy from his windowless van?
  • Is your go-to stress relief the instant-gratification of internet porn?

Back to the science: Something About Mary had it backwards. Just go a few days without relief and a switch flips. Suddenly, you’re the center of everyone’s attention. Oh, thank God (teeth were gritted down to nubs of insecurity).

Can we talk about Porn?

I thought you’d never ask. Porn, fantastic as it may be, acts directly on the addiction centers of the brain. Our caveman minds are, frankly, not equipped for handling the endless feast of flesh at our fingertips thanks to the internet, because, physiologically, sex is geared to be the highest possible reward meant only for the healthiest most contributing-to-the-tribe males. This instant access is a major cause of the growing trend in apathy in the developed world. With the dopamine high of life’s ultimate purpose so reticently available, there is a dwindling (possibly non-human) percentage driven to true accomplishments.

Come on. It’s natural to like to look at women.

Totally. That’s not the point. No one’s judging. No one want’s to be told one of their favorite pastimes is a drain on them, or worse, that it’s an addiction. That’s between you and your penis to decide. By no means are we suggesting you become celibate (though many of the great minds in history went that route), or that you focus your chi to transmute your sex energy, but if your gut instinct was defensiveness, maybe try the no porn challenge for kicks.

As with all addictions, porn needs escalation to get the same thrill. So soft-core turns to hardcore turns to fetishes to taboos and tentacle-rape to friction scars and cut out front-pockets for easy access, until you’re crying over a bottle of merlot fantasizing about accidental eye-contact with the hostess at Applebee’s. (That’s universal, right?)

To getting a life. Cheers.

 

 

 

Sources:

5 Reasons Women are as Shallow as Men

7 Craziest Things Ever Done to Get Laid

The End of Low Hanging Fruit?

Composition of Human Semen

AskMen: What’s in Sperm?

Journal of Psychology: Sexual Exhaustion in Male Rats

Wondergressive: Sex is Just a Lack of Disgust

PubMed.gov: Ejaculation and Testosterone

Wondergressive: You and Your Internet on Porn

American Journal of Psychology: Subjective Experiences of Dopamine Depletion

PubMed.gov: Pheromonal Influences on Sociosexual Behavior in Men

Subject Experiences of Positive Porn Abstinence

IMDB: There’s Something About Mary 

Philip Zimbardo: Your Brain on Porn

Wondergressive: A Note on the Top 1%

A History of Celibacy 

Celibate Celebrities

The Mystery of Sex Transmutation

The 10 Steps to Porn Addiction

Oculolinctus: Eye Fetish

The Art of Cyber Warfare: United States vs. China

cyber warfare image

Cyber warfare may be how all battles of the future are fought. http://www.occupycorporatism.com/

Cyber warfare is becoming about as common as an oil lobbyist’s smug grin, and in cyber warfare, hacking is the weapon of choice. Hacking has become the norm as our world continues to move forward technologically. Now, in 2013, we are already seeing big names like AppleFacebook, and Sony admitting to being hacked. A recent survey conducted in 2011 on the security of companies shed lights on some shocking truths:

Ninety percent of organizations in our study have had at least one breach. When asked to consider cash outlays, internal labor, overhead, revenue losses and other expenses related to the security breach, 41 percent of respondents report that it was 500,000 or more.

If security breaches due to hacking is happening regularly to companies, what happens if the attacks are on a larger scale? We turn now to nations hacking other nations, and the waging of cyber warfare between super powers.

USA’s Bald Eagle and the Chinese Red Dragon find themselves pitted against each other. The brawl is not physical but rather fought along the porn riddled strands of the world wide web. China is and has been a superpower not only in sheer population numbers but also in political power, technological advancements, business ventures, and military standing. Billions of dollars could have potentially been stolen through this exchange of superpowers waging cyber warfare on each other.

cyber warfare chica usa

When it comes to cyber warfare only one things matters: which hacker has the highest GWAM?http://www.theguardian.com/

Apart from billions of dollars being at stake, different depictions in various texts about China’s influence paired with our growing debt to China all point toward a potential future where most of the world is speaking Mandarin Chinese. Maybe being under Chinese rule wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Or maybe this public knowledge of our nations engaged in cyber warfare will strengthen ties between the Bald Eagle and the Dragon and they will give birth to the first super powered scaly griffon. Maybe it is a good thing that the hacking is occurring. It may be helping to improve security and prepare for even more dangerous hack attempts. Unfortunately, all this talk of potential crippling cyber warfare is only maybes in the end.

On a brighter note we are moving closer to a cyber infused world where technology and nature are becoming entwined. Even with all these hack attempts the internet isn’t all that bad! It is almost an all-in-one source of the totality of human knowledge. It aids in the creation of useful and beneficial things for people. And soon, hopefully, it’ll be free for all! Until then, lets hope that this disturbing news of cyber warfare will evnetually lead to a world of free information rather than a nuclear outbreak!

 

Sources:

https://wondergressive.com/category/technology/

http://www.juniper.net/us/en/local/pdf/additional-resources/ponemon-perceptions-network-security.pdf

http://edition.cnn.com/2013/02/19/tech/web/apple-hacked/index.html

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-205_162-57569713/facebook-says-it-was-hacked-last-month/

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-57539756-1/sonys-playstation-3-experiences-its-biggest-hack-yet/

http://world.time.com/2013/02/19/china-calls-u-s-hacking-allegations-groundless/

http://nation.time.com/2013/02/19/u-s-ready-to-strike-back-against-china-cyberattacks/

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1576831-9,00.html

http://www.zdnet.com/china-hits-back-at-hacking-claims-us-is-our-top-cyber-attacker-7000011543/

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1893554082/qid=970215310/sr=2-1/104-0533761-1644734

http://usgovinfo.about.com/od/moneymatters/ss/How-Much-US-Debt-Does-China-Own.htm

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1978756,00.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Griffin

http://motherboard.vice.com/blog/reassessing-the-hack

https://wondergressive.com/2013/02/11/the-singularity-is-nigh-upon-us-2/

https://wondergressive.com/2013/02/18/open-access-journals/

https://wondergressive.com/2012/09/01/15-year-old-invents-a-3-cent-cancer-test-using-google/

https://wondergressive.com/2013/02/04/free-internet-help-yourself/

http://world.time.com/2013/02/12/north-korea-confirms-successful-nuclear-test/

A Note on the Top 1%: Psychopaths or Superhumans?

 

A few days ago, we looked into the coming rise of a new species being developed by the technocrats; it’s nigh. Spectacular as this notion is, as it turns out, the next stage in human development has already arrived, interlaced inconspicuously amongst us, as though “They Live” were a documentary.

Doesn't anyone have a goddamn stick of gum?!

Doesn’t anyone have a goddamn stick of gum?!
http://www.releasedonkey.com

You see, everyone loves a good ethnic slur, but under our thin veil of cultural, linguistic, economic, and pigment differences, it’s understood that we’re all one collective unity of mankind. Hi, brothers and sisters. So with the utmost love and respect for all y’all round the globe (minus Canada, America’s ceaseless punchline), we can all join hands in an orgy of discrimination against the one group that’s not like the others. Proudly, I’ll stand on my soapbox of an anonymous keyboard and proclaim something we’ve all long suspected, but never voiced: “yuppies aren’t human.”

…Literally… Let me explain

If there’s one thing I’d gleaned from my last stint in the psych-ward (like you didn’t suspect), it’s how, like an uncured slab of beef, the lines between mental illnesses, unfortunately, are neither cut nor dry (consider the utter failure of the DSM). A great deal of consensus, however, stands in the psychologist community to where these muddied lines can be drawn, and the word “psychopath” is not a term bandied lightly, folks. A psychopath, apparently, is not always the image immediately drawn to mind of some knife wielding pariah, glazed in dried mustard and animal-semen (gross), prowling the subway adorned only in a single strategically-placed pool-floatie, who passes the day lobbing “Jesus saves” paper-airplane pamphlets at jaded urbanites. Nah, he’s probably wearing a silk tie, Gucci perhaps.

Psychopaths, in fact, while occasionally criminal masterminds, are masterful social chameleons, often indistinguishable from the crowd. Preconceived notions blown. A new theoretical analysis suggests that psychopathy is not merely a mental disorder, though, but rather the psychopath is a separate new sub-species of human altogether, a new animal. No joke. Sure, Patrick Bateman may lob revving chainsaws upon fleeing call-girls, but he wasn’t human, so it’s copacetic.  Evolution, it seems, just won’t take a day off. Psychopathy is categorized with traits of:

 

  • glib and superficial charm
  • grandiose (exaggeratedly high) estimation of self
  • need for stimulation
  • pathological lying
  • cunning and manipulativeness
  • lack of remorse or guilt
  • shallow affect (superficial emotional responsiveness)
  • callousness and lack of empathy
  • parasitic lifestyle
  • poor behavioral controls
  • sexual promiscuity
  • early behavior problems
  • lack of realistic long-term goals
  • impulsivity
  • irresponsibility
  • failure to accept responsibility for own actions
  • many short-term marital relationships
  • juvenile delinquency
  • revocation of conditional release
  • criminal versatility

To sum all that up, psychopaths (henceforth redubbed Homo PsychopathiusTM) are highly-intelligent, calculating, manipulative machines of self-interested ambition, lacking the capacity for conscience due to the inability to feel emotion. They are a manifestation of the cliché wolf in sheep’s clothing as a predator in white-collar work clothes, and these things aren’t human.

With an untappable spigot of raw uninhibited self-interest at its disposal, Homo Psychopathius often rises to the top of whatever organization/ field it sets its aim at. They are natural visionaries, innovators, and leaders of men, so it just makes sense that, statistically, the career with the highest propensity for psychopathy is nothing less than the CEO.

Over the last few decades, as you’ve undoubtedly noticed, the global power regime has shifted reigns from the uber-nation to the empire-corporation being the vaster colossus of influence. Our ruling class, then, are the highly-competent next stage in evolution, being more adapted for the major-leagues without the nuisance of those silly outdated oddities called feelings. Further still, note this list of the top ten careers Homo Psychopathius are found in, not forgetting the psychopath, more often than not, is at the forefront head of his field:

 

1. CEO
2. Lawyer
3. Media (Television/Radio)
4. Salesperson
5. Surgeon
6. Journalist
7. Police officer
8. Clergy person
9. Chef
10. Civil servant

Wait! Wait! Wait! Holy shit! What are you saying?

This thing is smarter than you, vastly more driven to power. It controls the companies you work for; it represents your legal system, decides what news you hear, tells you what to consume (down to a science), holds your life in its hands, arrests your deviants, propagates your religions, and it dominates your politics… oh yeah, and cooks your food (never trust a guy with a set of personally engraved knives, I guess).

We’re not alarmist here. Rather, I propose a happy compromise over this news: as successful as these things have proven themselves to be, rising to the apex of society, I offer that we humans dutifully permit this new animal to take the reins (cause it already has) as the new dominant species of the planet. You win, psychopaths. Game over. Anyway, our outdated human machine doesn’t mind serving as the structural base for your mighty overlord will. We’re more suited for playing Minecraft, masturbating, and following your orders. It’s kinda what we’re good at. If it’s not overly presumptuous of me to assume the diplomat between our 2 great peoples, let me be the first of my kind to say, “I vow my allegiance. All hail the morlocks! (I’m on board, guys. Eat someone else’s kids.)”

Fellow sapians, kinda brings the whole “Occupy Wall Street” thing into a new light, huh? Looks like the X-Men comics had it right all along: the 1% with all the powers really were the next stage of human evolution.

Take it; leave it; use it as an excuse to embrace your inner asshole.

Either way, let the hate mail commence.

 

 

 

Sources:

Wondergressive: The Singularity is Nigh Upon Us

I’m Here To Chew Bubblegum

Ari Shaffir: The Amazing Racist

Wondergressive: Impossible to Distinguish Sane from Insane

Wondergressive: You Might be a Psychopath

CBS: DSM New Psych Bible

People Claiming to be Jesus

Psychopath: a New Subspecies

Patrick Bateman

Psychopathy List

PubMed.gov: Genetic Risk for Psychopathy in 7 Year Olds

PubMed.gov: Corporate Psychopathy

Psychopathy and the CEO

Corporate Psychopaths and Global Financial Crisis

Corporate Psychopaths: Bullying and Unfair Supervision

MSN: 10 Sneaky Care Dealer Tricks

Who Runs the World: Global Corporate Control

Minecraft

Morlock

Occupy Wall Street

The Ugly Face of Overpopulation

buildings

freeimages.co.uk buildings

Texas, the lone star state. My recent visit to Texas gave me a new outlook on the Lone Star meaning. They say that this Lone Star state is capable of containing all of the world’s population. Texas has a square mileage of about 268,581 which equates to 7,487,608,550,400 square feet. Over 7.4 trillion square feet gives about 1000 square feet to each of the 7.5 billion people of our Earth’s population! So that’s what they mean by lone star state! Texas truly IS the only state that the world needs!

But what about transportation, farms, food services, power plants, etc.? Realistically, that would be a problem if we all lived in Texas, but that is not the point. What matters is that we have sufficient room on this planet for up to 282 billion people (calculated by Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research) and surely technology will always evolve and adapt to the limited space available to us. If not, then we build UP! Towers, skyscrapers, pyramids, whatever we can think of. Even, eventually, out into the new frontier!

So why all this overpopulation talk? Why is there all this talk of Kenya’s population needing to be controlled because of its drastic population increase? Why are we so afraid of reaching 9 billion people by 2050?

The answer is not in sheer numbers but in the daily consumption of those increased numbers and the toll it takes on the environment. It is in resources and available luxuries of a comfortable lifestyle that we are lacking. Roger Martin, chair of the NGO Population Matters states that:

Every additional person needs food, water and energy, and produces more waste and pollution, so ratchets up our total impact on the planet, and ratchets down everyone else’s share.

In reality, we Americans live lavishly, even at poverty levels compared to that of the rest of the world. Here in America we associate a good, happy life with a big house, a nice car, a high paying job, and a family that is fed and satisfied. Other countries are not so lucky and a daily struggle for food only increases as the population grows. One of many gruelling facts:

Americans constitute 5% of the world’s population but consume 24% of the world’s energy.

Where are all the solutions?! What can we do as a country to prepare for an Environmental Crisis?! Do I have to give up all of my luxury?

I am confident that most of you reading this article have heard the claim that the United States produces enough food to feed the entire world before. So then why are we still worrying about a shortage of food or overpopulation? Because every day supermarkets throw away food while people die of starvation all over the planet. Because day after day the corporate world  churns out more than is needed, creating piles of waste so that we can have comfortable lifestyles in America. Because no matter how much we produce or how efficient we become, nothing will deter the environmental crisis if we do not work for a cleaner and healthier environment around us.

Obama and his congressmen have been putting off the reforms needed in environmental advancements in order to have more sustainable energy and a cleaner environment. Germany already has implemented better energy efficient methods that are improving both the environment and their people’s way of life and is setting records for solar power production. Even if all that can be reached is a consensus on a future we want but do not currently have, we need to start moving in the right direction to help create that better, sustainable future.

Already the revolution towards a cleaner environment is happening. Already we are creating edible landscapes, creating gasoline out of air, working towards more efficient heating methods, and most importantly, using waste as a form of energy! The Environmental Revolution is upon us. Do not let yourself get left behind.

 

Sources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas

http://www.pik-potsdam.de/institute

http://www.nation.co.ke/News/Kenyans-urged-to-cut-population-growth/-/1056/1607130/-/kdn3t5z/-/index.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2011/oct/23/why-population-growth-costs-the-earth-roger

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy5A8dVYU3k

http://www.mindfully.org/Sustainability/Americans-Consume-24percent.htm

http://www.naturalnews.com/029637_supermarkets_food.html

http://www.worldhunger.org/articles/Learn/world%20hunger%20facts%202002.htm

https://wondergressive.com/2012/09/07/unprecedented-changes-and-extinctions-occurring-in-marine-life/

https://wondergressive.com/2012/08/16/permaculture-connection/

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/05/26/us-climate-germany-solar-idUSBRE84P0FI20120526

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,2118058,00.html

https://wondergressive.com/2012/08/15/edible-landscapes/

https://wondergressive.com/2012/11/02/fresh-air-turned-into-gasoline/

https://wondergressive.com/2013/01/05/heat-yourself-not-your-house/

https://wondergressive.com/2013/02/12/sweden-is-running-out-of-trash/

Engineering the Perfect Morning in 8 Easy Steps

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Have you had your coffee yet? Stretch it out; it’s okay. Nothing quite like the old cigarette and cup of joe to kick start the day into gear, or maybe leisurely scrolling a Wondergressive post on the john is more your speed. Remember when you’d spring to life hours before the sun, like, say on Christmas morning? You couldn’t fall asleep from excitement and erupted from slumber like the rambunctious little meth-head every kid is. Well guess what friends… we can have that majesty again, and not just once a year, but every morning. Check out these 8 simple steps to supercharging your mornings and life:

1)

If you’re reading an article on this site, you’re probably pretty smart, and kudos to you already, so maybe you’ve heard of this thing called the REM cycle. Turns out the number of cycles is not as important as we’d previously imagined; rather, timing is the key. Those non-hangover days when, even with a full 8 hours, you feel like a monkey’s been bludgeoning you with a bag of unripe oranges (maybe the 6th cup will do the trick), most likely your alarm sounded mid-REM cycle, and this is a big deal. If the cycle is interrupted, this is a day of grogginess. Contrarily, rising between REMs leaves you alert and rested. A REM cycle is 90 minutes, give or take, so instead of getting a solid 8, aim for a solid 7.5 hours a night. You’ll be walking on (not sunshine) regular terrain, throwing away the old “I’m just not a morning person.” Likewise, 6 hours (optimal on average) or less will do the trick as well, though you may want to nap later with the latter. Easy-peezy. If you need to be up at 7am, hit the pillow at 11:15pm (15mins to fall asleep). With the demons of drowsiness never again jabbing your skull, it’ll be much easier to…

2)

Wake up early. I promise this is an easy step. Was it ever hard to roll out of the race-car to pillage Santa’s haul? If you’re awesome, and I’ll bet you are, you have a to-do list 6 pages deep and it’s become more of a “shit that’ll happen when I win the lottery” list. What a vicious, unending cycle, especially since “buy lottery ticket” is on that list. But you’re clever and ambitious; you know what to do to find those extra hours to get it all done: wake up early. Like we’ve already seen, 6 hours is a great amount of sleep where you’ll feel peak-rested. Congratulations, you’ve just found an extra 2 hours of private time every day (6 extra years of consciousness added to your life). While the world hits snooze, you can…

3)

Set an isochronic alarm. Good odds you’re reading this on your phone/mp3/alarm clock/everything, and you can set an alarm to sound any noise you’d like (if you don’t know how, Google it). Trythis iso-tone. It’s a sound that, when heard, snaps the mind into high gear (Make sure to check out the science behind isochronic tones– it’s pretty cool but beyond the scope of this article). No need to shut it off, by the way. This tone makes a great background to your…

4)

Dream journal. Why dream journal? It’s fun, for one. Keeping a journal of your dreams is like sharing an intimate conversation with your subconscious; never mind if you don’t have dreams (you do, everyone dreams every single night), start with anything, even a vague memory of a color, and details will start flooding back as the pen lurches rapidly to scrawl them. Even these few minutes of creativity, because they’re first thing, set a tone of greatness for the rest of the day, although no one will hold it against you if you still need…

5)

Coffee. Yes, have your coffee if that’s your thing (did you think I’d say you couldn’t?), but that delectable god-nectar takes a bit to brew, so in the meantime, we’ll be needing an empty stomach anyway for…

5.5)

Exercise. It doesn’t take much to get the job done; we’re not training for the Olympics. 10-15 minutes of easy calisthenics right at waking gets the blood flowing and kick starts the metabolism so your breakfast won’t sludge into more mass about the spare-tire, but burn to fuel your freshly invigorated body. Thanks, science.

6)

Read. Let’s leave off the Looney Tunes this morning, or if that’s not your style, no newspaper or CNN. Instead, over the oats and bacon, we’re going to read 10 pages (that’s it, easy) of self-help. Are you in the school that thinks self-help books are for a bunch of losers who need to pat themselves on the back? Okay, a lot are, but check outthese self-help books (or for the kleptos). A mere 10 pages a day will amount to 1,300 books over your lifetime. Fun side-note: Theodore Roosevelt read an entire book every single day, even while he had his hands full with all that presidenting.

7)

Take a cold shower. This will be the hardest step to adhere to, but well worth the sacrifice. According to Dr. Kruse, the benefits of becoming “cold adapted” include:

  • Optimization of hormone levels
  • Fertility and reproductive fitness
  • Strengthened adrenal function
  • Reversal of diabetes and thyroid disorders
  • Increased immune function
  • Pain management
  • Deepened and improved sleep
  • Increased sense of well being and better attitude
  • and, it may be helpful with serious neurological diseases and eating disorders

Sounds cool (groan over shitty pun).

8)

Meditate. I’ll bet you’ve heard good things. Here’s your chance, and if you’re afraid of looking silly, no one else is up yet anyway. Here’s a beginners guide if you’re unfamiliar. That’s it. Have fun y’all, and enjoy your new, awesome life.

 

Sources:

WebMD: Stages of Sleep

PubMed.gov: Effects of Interrupting REM sleep

Iso-tone

Science of Isochronic Tones

How Dreams Work

Reasons to Exercise in the Morning

Goodreads: Self-help Books

Cracked.com: Facts About Famous People

Dr. Kruse: Cold Showers

How to Meditate

Facebook: Glorifying and Depressing

Why is it that I go on Facebook to kill time when Facebook may actually be killing me over time?

A recent study of Facebook, conducted jointly by two German Universities, has shed light on why I am so miserable some days and other days too darn happy to measure on a sensible happiness scale. 600 participants were studied while they logged on to Facebook and 1 in 3 were reportedly unsatisfied towards the end of their session. The study describes an interesting phenomenon the researchers call the self promotion – envy spiral. I follow you on Facebook (auto correct still tries to correct Facebook as face book, I think Mark Zuckerberg is working on that), because we are friends or acquaintances or I think I know you somehow, thus I am constantly updated with the pictures of that vacation you just went on or that new relationship you are engaging in. That would be all hunky dory and what not but now I am envious of your self-promotion of happiness. Your happiness is making me miserable… true Yin and Yang huh? Or maybe it’s the other way around? It’s likely one of us is making the other miserable 33% of the time.

We were surprised by how many people have a negative experience from Facebook with envy leaving them feeling lonely, frustrated or angry,

Researcher Hanna Krasnova from the Institute of Information Systems at Berlin’s Humboldt University told Reuters,

From our observations some of these people will then leave Facebook or at least reduce their use of the site.

Now I know that YOU know at least one person that has left Facebook in the last month or so because of the “It takes up too much of my time” excuse, but maybe that person simply couldn’t stand being miserable anymore. It may also be that this self imposed misery is our fate as the internet has become a norm in our society, ultimately giving birth to news and information which can be received at the convenience of a click of a mouse. That is instantaneous misery available to you as long as you have access to the internet. One has to think that it may not only be Facebook and the internet that are causing our misery but also all of the advancements in technology which are meant to improve our quality of life.

So what if your better looking than me? I wouldn’t wear that out in public, makes her look trashy. I’m happy that you just got engaged and I’m still single! That trip to Burma seems like it is enjoyable, glad you could share it with me here in zero degree weather. But of course I’ll make it to the award ceremony where you will be receiving prestige and applause for your work in molecular biology!

So much stress… definitely bad for your health. Darn you Mark Zuckerberg and your new age sexiness.. you planned this world wide web gloat/grief relationship didn’t you?

 

Sources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook

http://warhol.wiwi.hu-berlin.de/~hkrasnova/Ongoing_Research_files/WI%202013%20Final%20Submission%20Krasnova.pdf

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Zuckerberg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yin_and_yang

http://uk.reuters.com/article/2013/01/22/us-facebook-envy-idUKBRE90L0N220130122

http://vimeo.com/50652818

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burma

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2267220/The-rise-techno-sexual-Why-women-saying-goodbye-David-Gandy-hello-geeky-likes-Facebook-founder-Mark-Zuckerberg.html

To be Fat or Not to be Fat?

America is fat, but it may also be healthy. A recent study on over weight individuals has sparked a lot of criticism. Katherine Flegal, a senior research scientist at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says:

We published an article in 2005 that showed, among other things, that (being) overweight was associated with lower mortality.

Since then, Flegal and her associates have been working on a study that involves reviews of over 100 previous studies linking weight and mortality. The study claims that those who are overweight but not obese might be able to live through medical crisis’ better than those who are thin. The idea is that you lose weight when you are facing something serious, be it stress or a medical problem, and that those with more fat on them can shed 20lbs without much impact on their body. However, if you are thin and you lose 20lbs you end up straining your body and energy which can worsen your health, ultimately causing a pre-mature death.

It might also have to do with the mentality of individuals. A healthy thin individual may not be as inclined to see the doctor as often as an overweight individual might. Let us say for instance that both a thin and an overweight individual has a dormant tumor. The overweight individual may detect it sooner due to more frequent checkups than the thin individual simply because of the “I’m healthy I don’t need to get a checkup” mentality. Not to mention the stubbornness of not seeing a doctor for routine checkups because it costs too much. I think it all boils down to living healthier lives and paying attention to your body! Experts say that ultimately it comes down to how you feel, if you are overweight but fit and you feel good then you are healthy! 

The obese make us fat Americans average, does that mean that the average sized people will live longer lives? What do you think? Maybe its time to stop hitting the gym and time to start eating more pies! Chocolate pies, raspberry pies, banana cream pies, mint pies, key lime pies….. mmmmm so many PIES!

 

Sources:

http://edition.cnn.com/2013/01/02/health/overweight-mortality/index.html

http://www.helpguide.org/harvard/mindfulness.htm

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/overwt.htm

Rocket Stove Heating

Check out this rocket stove mass heater.  This method of heating your house and rear combines efficiency, safety, affordability and style.

The rocket mass heater:

  • heat your home with 80% to 90% less wood
  • exhaust is nearly pure steam and CO2 (a little smoke at the beginning)
  • the heat from one fire can last for days
  • you can build one in a day and half
  • folks have built them spending less than $20

Portable versions are also available for those with a mobile lifestyle.

Hop on board the rocket, heat your home and save your pocket.  Okay, that was really lame, but try it anyway!