Let’s Capture US an Asteroid!


What would interstellar warfare be without the original ideas that brought us there? Like, for instance, humans developing new space technologies and exploring space in the first place. Lucky for us, we have a great amount of our budget invested in NASA, a hefty proposed 17.7 billion dollars to be exact, which, surprisingly, is still 50 million less than in 2012. Looks like NASA’s planned mission to an asteroid was not just a pipe dream!

The most interesting part of the budget would be the proposed spending associated with NASA and asteroids. The description in the budget for NASA states that:

The Budget includes $78 million for NASA to develop needed technologies and study alternative approaches for a robotic mission to rendezvous with a small asteroid—one that would be harmless to Earth—and move it to a stable location outside the Moon’s orbit.

That is to say we will send men to space to commandeer an asteroid and bring it home! As if the asteroid had any say in the matter anyway, I foresee a cult uprising like no other before! That is all chump change compared to what NASA is really planning to do with this excavating of asteroids. Sometime in 2014, there is a planned launch of Orion, which will bring us one step closer to herding asteroids and ultimately reaching Mars in 2030!

Dan Dumbacher, deputy associate administrator for NASA’s Exploration Systems Development Division (what a title!) says:

It’s a key element of our overall plan to get humans beyond Earth’s orbit as quickly as we can

With that test flight accomplished, the scientists and engineers can analyze Orion’s design and maneuverability,  capability of Orion housing humans, and heat shields designed for Orion’s reentry, all of which will hopefully bring us all closer to sun bathing on our red brother’s atmosphere. That, or using it as a space station for our intergalactic space battles!

For a full low down on the President’s Budget for Fiscal Year 2014, visit that link and check out whether or not you agree with the budget and the changes it will bring. One definite that it prescribes is an eventual decline in our debt, but at what cost?

 

Further Reading:

Wondergressive – NASA’s Planned Mission to Asteroid

NASA’s Proposed Budget

President’s Budget for fiscal year 2014

NASA website

Wondergressive – Interstellar Warfare

Mars’ Atmosphere

 

The Great Vitamin D-Ficiency!

Dear Chicagoan,

Stop Getting Sick!

Yours Truly,

Your Immune System.

 

This of course does not solely pertain to Chicagoans; any of you city slickers with those dark and snowy winters, those gloomy and menacing falls, and those extended rainy stormy weeks, are likely ignoring your immune system’s desperate cry for help. What am I doing wrong you may ask? What can I do when there is no sun to power me!? Even Superman was weak without the sun!

Start taking your vitamin D supplements people! Especially in the winter. Vitamin D deficiency is very commonly caused by a lack of sunlight during that dreaded FLU SEASON. A study by R. Edgar Hope-Simpson, a British family practice doctor, found that:

During the summer months in both hemispheres, influenza is virtually nonexistent. Aside from the flu, the common cold, which is actually a variety of more than 200 different viruses, also has a peak during the winter months.

Pish posh! I am 10 times the man I am during the winter period than the hot summertime! Look how efficiently I plow the snow and create icy sculptures with ease! I don’t need any supplements… John J. Cannell, MD, who heads the nonprofit Vitamin D Council, says otherwise:

Ninety-five percent of Americans are deficient in vitamin D — that’s how big the problem is

Ahh but there are always critics in the world of modern medicine. Why would anything natural and recurring in nature ever be good for you? All we need is antibiotics and drugs and we can solve the world’s problems! An article titled Trying to Avoid a Cold? Skip the Vitamin D Supplements, goes in detail describing how a study in New Zealand, not America, produced results that leave the reader questioning the validity of vitamin D benefits. Yet it notes that those deficient in vitamin D would still likely benefit from supplements. Look up to statistic… a flurry of brain synapses going off will ensue. For a time there was vitamin D hype, which brought on vitamin D hate, and now it is not even mentioned anymore. We can ride the news roller coaster and listen to the media until we are all completely confused about everything, even ourselves.

So how much should I take? Will I get poisoned from too much vitamin D?

The Vitamin D Council recommends that children take 1,000 IU and adults take 5,000 IU when not exposed to sunlight regularly. In order to reach a state of toxicity with vitamin D, one would have to consume over 40,000 IU in supplements for over two months! I have heard as little as 600 IU should be taken and if taken in excess of 1,000 IU then you risk toxicity. Boy do they steer us wrong about supplements, or as some call it, voodoo magic.

A little late, why didn’t you tell me this earlier!? Well better late then never.. SO! If it’s the summer time or spring time and you are actively soaking in your rays, safely of course without overexposure to damaging UV rays, then don’t sweat the vitamin D supplements as much! But if you do not eat vitamin D rich foods and you are prone to sickness and easily contract a flu during that dreaded FLU SEASON, do your immune system a solid and pop a supplement every now and then. Your body will repay you with longevity, energy, and a solid ‘D’ against that flu enemy!

Before you go off to do what you were going to do, which is of course to read that AWESOME Wondergressive article on how Cannabis Cures Cancer, here is a list of ailments that Jack Challem, the author of more than 20 books on nutrition and a member of the American Society for Nutrition, put together for those deficient in vitamin D:

• Allergies. Vitamin D deficiency is associated with a greater risk of allergies, such as to pollens.

• Back pain. Many studies have shown that in patients with chronic lower-back pain, vitamin D supplements led to either a partial or complete elimination of pain.

• Fibromyalgia. Low vitamin D levels are typical in this disease, and boosting vitamin D reduces symptoms.

• Heart disease. Low vitamin D levels are associated with up to a 50 percent higher risk of heart attack.

• Mental health. Low wintertime vitamin D levels may be a factor in seasonal affective disorder (that is, seasonal depression), as well as in schizophrenia.

• Multiple sclerosis. The risk of multiple sclerosis increases progressively in populations living at latitudes farther from the equator. A growing body of research suggests that adequate vitamin D might slow its progression, at least in the early stages of MS.

• Skin cancer. Some research suggests that for certain populations, vitamin D, in combination with sun exposure or calcium supplementation, might offer some protection against skin cancer.

• Type 2 diabetes. Considerable research indicates that vitamin D, often in combination with calcium, helps regulate blood sugar and may reduce the risk of type 2 diabetes.

• Vaginal infections. Bacterial vaginosis affects nearly one of every three women. Maintaining normal vitamin D levels might reduce the risk of this type of infection.

Sources:

Jack Challem

Web MD Vitamin D Foods

Web MD Vitamin D Deficiency

CNN Health: Flu Season

Epidemic Influenza and Vitamin D

John J. Cannell, MD

Vitamin D Council

Wondergressive: Cannibus Cures Cancer

Anti Vitamin D

Quit Cumming, Save MANkind: The Detrimental Effects of Porn

porn hardoff

Watching porn only takes up like half of your day, it can’t be that bad! cracked.com

Though we’re a news site, I strive not to post on the bummers unless there are solutions to couple with ’em, especially when it comes to porn. The mainstream fear mongers feed enough of that drivel to the hungry baby boomer crowd, and here, we want your life to be better, at least in some way. So when I lay this terrible news on you, don’t freak out; there is an easy fix…

Get ready for…

Raw unbridled power. Soon you’ll have unparalleled focus, strength, and animal-magnetism enveloping your being like some all-mighty aura of tenacious suavity. Awesomeness. But first…

Before we take a stab at why you don’t have these things, women, this article isn’t meant for you. Glean some nifty tricks if you can, but the research happens to all be aimed at the fellas. And be forewarned, the Pandora’s Box of the male psyche really is disturbingly straight forward, so endeavor further at your own peril.

porn thumb drive

There are activities besides porn where my thumbs can come in handy? http://blogannath.blogspot.com

Gentlemen, I have some mixed news for you regarding porn. We’ve been shooting ourselves in the groin for countless generations, completely oblivious. As it turns out, when our monkey forefathers sprouted opposable thumbs nearly 70 million years ago, they launched our chimp brothers into a vortex of technological advancement, but unfortunately, in this same step, doomed our fraternal lineage to a fate of epidemic depression, anxiety, inferiority-complexes and erectile-dysfunction. No need to take bolt cutters to that wonderful fifth digit, there is an easier fix.

What’s wrong with my thumbs? And what does it have to do with porn?

Aside from allowing us, collectively, to construct tools, carry said tools, flush toilets and headshot noobs, our thumbs have been responsible for basically all of civilization as we know it, separating us through dexterity from the rest of the animal kingdom. Similarly magnanimous, from the pyramids of Giza to sliced bread, every great human advancement those little babies have rendered us capable of has stemmed from a single, all-encompassing species-driving motive: we wanted to impress women. Literally, all facets of culture and society can be broken into that basest motivation: mating. So when our primate cousins found their fingers all those generations ago, suddenly the rules of the game changed, because our every hardwired purpose for living could now be overridden in one effortless squirt. I’m talking about masturbation.

Don’t get all preachy on me now!

Relax. This isn’t some moralistic pseudo-religious naysaying on the evils of your naughty bits. The palm hair is safe.

The capacity to watch porn and masturbate has put us in a dilemma. We have a choice as men: we can study hard, trouncing all competitors, create an empire, amass a fortune, and (possibly) win the affections of some elusive supermodel goddess. Or, for the price of a bottle of Lubriderm and a stolen Wi-Fi connection, we can download ultra-high resolution close-ups of lady-bits and let our imaginations skip all that effort.

Low hanging fruit tastes better, we like to pretend.

I happen to enjoy my porn, thank you! Why is that a problem? 

It isn’t, necessarily. But there are definite drawbacks. Each ejaculation takes a toll on the philanderer’s wellbeing in several potent ways.

First, with each climax, a man losses a whole slew of essential vitamins and nutrients because semen is designed to give as much of a fighting chance to the new embryo as possible. In fact, each time we cum, we lose the protein equivalent of a large egg. That’s why we just want to nap afterward or find the whole thing gross; literally, our entire physiology is designed to propel us into this point of mutual orgasm, storing massive energy reserves to be spent at copulation, not to be squandered into a crusty sock.

Worse still, ejaculation expels testosterone reserves. Every fap session makes you less of a man in a very real sense, depleting you of your very chemical maleness (This does not apply to actual sex, however, which we’ll look at shortly. High-five!). Lastly, and we’ve covered this deeper in previous articles, masturbation effects dopamine levels on a similar scale to heroin, leading to obsessive-compulsiveness, thought-disorders, social anxiety and depression. Be honest, at some level, does that seem familiar?

You said there was good news?

Indeed, I did. Friends, if you masturbate because porn is easy and getting laid eludes you, we have some great news. Masturbating is why you’re not getting laid. You see, each time you lose that testosterone, first your body produces less pheromones, your natural arousal cologne, and the renewed secretion of pheromones creates this cloud of alpha-male essence around you, effortlessly attracting women and impressing your dominance upon fellow men.

Better still, with this unsquandered natural energy and social prowess, comfort and confidence in your own skin skyrockets, and your body instinctually makes you want to set aside the MMORPG’s and interact with other humans. You’re a natural at talking to girls, just not so much after the instant gratification of manual stimulation. Face to face socializing is what you were designed for.

Too good to be true? There are thousands of first-hand accounts of 180 degree life changes from simply giving your little buddy a rest, and closing out of the porn site. There are also massive support communities to help the transition into the new Casanova lifestyle. We all love our porn fellas, and the idea of losing our parents to cholera is probably more soothing than withdrawal from the sweet, sweet glories of a photoshopped Kate Upton…

porn kate upton

Damn, she looks good. But guess what? So do real girls. Porn is a poor substitute.

So how bout a quick self-check:

  • Do you exercise, dress classy, and/or groom your billy-goat beard from time to time, but still feel invisible to women?
  • Have you read any how-to’s by Neal Strauss?
  • Did you linger at that last photo (we all did)?
  • Does there seem like a collective decision by all woman-kind to blue-ball you?
  • Do you suspect you give the vibe of a man passing out candy from his windowless van?
  • Is your go-to stress relief the instant-gratification of internet porn?

Back to the science: Something About Mary had it backwards. Just go a few days without relief and a switch flips. Suddenly, you’re the center of everyone’s attention. Oh, thank God (teeth were gritted down to nubs of insecurity).

Can we talk about Porn?

I thought you’d never ask. Porn, fantastic as it may be, acts directly on the addiction centers of the brain. Our caveman minds are, frankly, not equipped for handling the endless feast of flesh at our fingertips thanks to the internet, because, physiologically, sex is geared to be the highest possible reward meant only for the healthiest most contributing-to-the-tribe males. This instant access is a major cause of the growing trend in apathy in the developed world. With the dopamine high of life’s ultimate purpose so reticently available, there is a dwindling (possibly non-human) percentage driven to true accomplishments.

Come on. It’s natural to like to look at women.

Totally. That’s not the point. No one’s judging. No one want’s to be told one of their favorite pastimes is a drain on them, or worse, that it’s an addiction. That’s between you and your penis to decide. By no means are we suggesting you become celibate (though many of the great minds in history went that route), or that you focus your chi to transmute your sex energy, but if your gut instinct was defensiveness, maybe try the no porn challenge for kicks.

As with all addictions, porn needs escalation to get the same thrill. So soft-core turns to hardcore turns to fetishes to taboos and tentacle-rape to friction scars and cut out front-pockets for easy access, until you’re crying over a bottle of merlot fantasizing about accidental eye-contact with the hostess at Applebee’s. (That’s universal, right?)

To getting a life. Cheers.

 

 

 

Sources:

5 Reasons Women are as Shallow as Men

7 Craziest Things Ever Done to Get Laid

The End of Low Hanging Fruit?

Composition of Human Semen

AskMen: What’s in Sperm?

Journal of Psychology: Sexual Exhaustion in Male Rats

Wondergressive: Sex is Just a Lack of Disgust

PubMed.gov: Ejaculation and Testosterone

Wondergressive: You and Your Internet on Porn

American Journal of Psychology: Subjective Experiences of Dopamine Depletion

PubMed.gov: Pheromonal Influences on Sociosexual Behavior in Men

Subject Experiences of Positive Porn Abstinence

IMDB: There’s Something About Mary 

Philip Zimbardo: Your Brain on Porn

Wondergressive: A Note on the Top 1%

A History of Celibacy 

Celibate Celebrities

The Mystery of Sex Transmutation

The 10 Steps to Porn Addiction

Oculolinctus: Eye Fetish