Testosterone Therapy: Is It Worth The Risk?

We have all seen the ads. The commercials that come on in between your favorite Breaking Bad episodes, your adrenaline rushing and bravado showing. How about during your online browsing sessions, where your side banners tell you that you are not man enough but there is hope through testosterone treatments. I know for certain that when you step foot into your gym at least a couple of TVs are advertising “low testosterone” remedies. It has even been advertised as a catalyst for treating erectile dysfunction. With all this hype, you better believe that the number of testosterone treatments and participants have been increasing over the years.

Related Article: Quit Cumming, Save Mankind

But why do men experience a loss of testosterone? Why does a man seek therapy to boost testosterone? According to WebMD:

As a man ages, the amount of testosterone in his body gradually declines. This natural decline starts after age 30 and continues throughout life

Of course it makes sense then that a man aged 40 and up would look for a means of staying young by increasing testosterone, even if it may be detrimental to his health in other ways. A study on testosterone therapy focusing precisely on those health risks has been creating quite the buzz in the news recently. The study found that with testosterone treatments you are also increasing your risk of a heart attack. With that in mind, different testosterone treatments have been getting backlash from both media and activists alike, as it has been disputed whether the risks outweigh the supposed benefits of the treatments. 

Androgel is one such product currently dealing with lawsuits from 4 plaintiffs who claim their cardiovascular injuries came from the use of the gel product. The product was originally approved by the FDA to be used by those experiencing hypogonadism, where the patient’s body doesn’t produce enough testosterone to continue masculine functions such as muscle growth or sperm production. Now, however, Androgel is more commercially advertised as a means to boosting performance and testosterone levels in middle aged (40+) and older men (65+). It does have its benefits, but unfortunately Androgel does not yet acknowledge the risk of cardiovascular health, nor does it label it in its safety information.

Due to the curiosity and miracles that testosterone therapies are proclaiming, groups like the Endocrine Society are rallying their cry to label testosterone therapies and treatments with proper warnings. The Endocrine Society is also calling for a larger scale study in order to properly examine how risky testosterone therapies can be. Even the FDA is currently investigating the link between increased heart risk and testosterone therapy. Like other miracle drug claims, one would do well to practice caution and research before using anything that claims to improve your health in any way. 

Related Article: Power Posing Can Change Your World

I can't even achieve this at the age of 26! Makes me sad... http://laweekly.blogs.com/.a/6a00d83451afa369e20134877262f7970c-popup

I can’t even achieve THIS at the age of 26! Makes me sad…
http://laweekly.blogs.com/.a/6a00d83451afa369e20134877262f7970c-popup

What can a man do then? Is there no solution? Of course the obvious answer is to consult your doctor, because although some testosterone therapies are posing a threat to one’s health, others may be causing more promise than problems. Either that, or force yourself to go to the gym, not to necessarily get your testosterone back, but rather your confidence and energy! Or disregard everything and jump on the Cenegenics train and look like Dr. Life (on the right) in your 70s… Cheers to immortality!

 

Research:

PLOS One: Increased Risk of Non-Fatal Myocardial Infraction Following Testosterone Therapy Prescription in Men

WebMD: Testosterone Replacement Therapy

Endocrine Society Statement on Testosterone

Endocrine Society Calls for Large Scale Studies to Evaluate Testosterone Therapy Risks

Mayo Clinic – Male Hypogonadism

 AndroGel

FDA evaluating risks associated with FDA-approved testosterone products

 

Wondergressive: Quit Cumming, Save Mankind: The Detrimental Effects of Porn

Wondergressive: Power Posing Can Change Your World

Precocious Puberty: A Growing Issue for Young Girls

When I first read the novel Little Women, it made me feel…reassured.  The story of the March sisters’ journey from girls to women seemed much less intimidating than I thought the transition would be.The story’s central character, Jo, reflects on the experience of growing up saying,

I think she is growing up, and so begins to dream dreams, and have hopes and fears and fidgets, without knowing why or being able to explain them.

That was growing up for a girl then. Growing up now, the things a girl can’t explain include over developed breasts and the early onset of a menstrual cycle. According to a 2011 study published in the Journal of Pediatrics, American girls are maturing physically earlier and earlier. Preteen girls who have not yet let go of their American Girl dolls are being fitted for their first bras, scrubbing away at acne, and carrying pads in their backpacks to deal with periods that are increasingly starting in fourth grade or earlier.

Related Article: Oral Sex on the Rise

With the body maturing faster than the mind, young girls are being exposed to a myriad of risks, both physical and psychological.

 

Causes of Precocious Puberty

Precocious puberty is

when someone’s body begins changing from a child into an adult too soon. The process of changing from a child into an adult is known as puberty, and puberty that begins before age 8 for girls and before age 9 for boys is considered precocious puberty.

irls of today are experiencing precocious puberty more often and are hitting puberty sooner than any generation in history. About 15% of American girls now begin puberty by age 7, according to a study of 1,239 girls published last year in Pediatrics. Over the last 30 years, we’ve shortened the childhood of girls by about a year and a half. (Early physical maturation is occurring in boys as well, though that won’t be the focus of this article.)

The early onset of puberty has consequences that continue to be an issue well into adulthood, thus, even if a woman has gone through the puberty phase, she will forever feel the effects of it starting early. There are many explanations as to why this process, known as precocious puberty, begins early.

Related Article: Balls of Fury: Eunuchs Live Longer?

According to Dr. Frank Biro, director of adolescent medicine at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital, the rise in the childhood obesity rate is partly to blame. Fatty tissue produces leptin, which stimulates the release of sex hormones. According to Biro,

The girls who are obese are clearly maturing earlier. BMI is, we found, the biggest single factor for the onset of puberty.

puberty bpa

Yeah, but they were on sale… http://www.saferchemicals.org/

Additionally, there may be environmental factors involved.  Dr. Biro goes onto say that some investigators are focusing on environmental contaminants like PBBs and more notoriously, BPA, common ingredients in plastic products that have endocrine-disrupting powers of their own. The Centers for Disease Control says that the blood of the average American carries traces of 212 different chemicals. All of these chemicals have the power to disrupt the endocrine system by either mimicking hormones, blocking them, or changing the way they’re metabolized and excreted. The longer we ignore these often times preventable causes, the more we will continue to upset the biological balance.

 

The Effects of Early Puberty 

There is another kind of biological balance that is even harder to control. Young girls who fall into precocious puberty are forced to balance their rapidly changing bodies with the standard development of their minds. When pre-sexual minds find themselves in newly sexualized bodies, substantial emotional damage can be done. Dr. Michelle Klein, a pediatric endocrinologist at Mount Sinai Medical Center, treated a 6 ½ year old who was already developing breasts and pubic hair. Klein stated that,

She would get into a bathing suit at camp, and the other kids would tease her. She was already a good deal taller than her peers, and adults would talk to her as if she was older and more mature–and expect more-mature behavior out of her too.

puberty height

Did I shrink or did you explode upward? http://www.saferchemicals.org/

This becomes problematic to a child because she is not receiving a message consistent with her actual age. She won’t understand the expectations on her because she is not mentally prepared to do so.

Related Article: All Your Kids Are Sexting 

People are judging girls based on what they can see, but as with everything, appearances are deceiving. According to Erin Diamond, author of “Big Feet, Training Bras,” and “Going All the Way”:

Girls who develop physically faster are assumed to be more sexually active than their peers…Early developers are also more likely to engage in relationships of a sexual nature before they are emotionally prepared to do so.

This leads to a myriad of psychological disorders, including depression, anxiety, poor self-esteem, eating disorders…all due to a process that is beyond their control. Not only are young girls at an increased risk of emotional turmoil, they also have physical side effects to contend with. According to the Journal of Pediatrics, early sexual maturity means more estrogen exposure for breast tissue, thus, introducing a cancer risk.  If a girl gets her first period before 12 years of age, the risk of breast cancer is 20% more than if she got it at 14. Additionally, breast cancer risk is increased by 5% for every year younger a woman is when she begins her periods. As you can see, growing up, more than ever before, is now hazardous to a girl’s health.

 

What Doctors and Parents are Doing to Help

puberty hypothalamus

The biological process driving the worst years of our lives. http://www.lupronped.com

In light of these hazards, it is now time to reset the puberty clock. Science is offering new options that will help to literally shut off puberty for a year or two so that a child’s chronological, psychological, and physical age all align. The new treatment involves monthly injections of Lupron, a medication that neutralizes the effect of the puberty inducing hormones, otherwise known as GnRH. It does this not by reducing the level of the hormone in the body, but by increasing it. GnRH is released by the hypothalamus in a pulsing pattern, and the injections are designed to fill in the gaps between the pulses. The body interprets the neutralized GnRH state as no GnRH at all, and the sped-up maturation stops.

Related Article: For Cure Administer Two Times Daily- How Effective is Our Medicine? 

While drugs are effective, they can be expensive. For uninsured Americans, these drugs can cost $1000’s each month. Presently, the only drug available for precocious puberty is Lupron. But according to the Physicians’ Desk Reference, Lupron has 265 possible risks and side-effects, including cancer. Lupron can cause severe problems such as tremors, seizures and memory loss.

In light of these dangers, it is important to know that there are natural methods available to help prevent or mitigate the problem. They may seem small when compared to medicinal treatment, but if we all practice these small solutions regularly, we could help to create a change in a young girls life that she will carry with her as long as she lives.

First, throw out your plastic water bottles; microwave your food in glass containers as opposed to plastic. This can lower your exposure to the dangerous BPA chemical. Since obesity is a strong contributing factor to precocious puberty, keeping weight down can prevent the hormonal effects of carrying too much body fat. This is where a healthy diet and regular exercise become very important.

Related Article: The Dangers of Fat Acceptance 

puberty children

Don’t judge your children, love them. http://www.amagazineofrandom.com

In addition to all of this, the most effective strategy may simply be awareness; we need to be aware of the pressures faced by young girls in our society. It is the responsibility of parents, teachers, coaches and any other significant figure in a girl’s life to remind her that her worth is not tied to her outward appearance. Little girls need to be assured that they are loved no matter when changes to their body and mind may occur. It is important to remember that to any child, happiness is knowing you are loved. 

And that is the most important thing; the happiness and contentment of little girls as they navigate their way through such an arduous journey. But for some, the journey is complicated in a way they may not be emotionally mature enough to handle. By discussing the causes, examining the effects, and identifying some solutions, we see more than ever that just because a little girl looks like a woman on the outside, that does not mean she is woman on the inside. While today’s little girls grow up much differently than the March sisters, they do still have one thing in common. As author Louisa May Alcott said,

The emerging woman will be strong-minded, strong-hearted, and strong-souled,

and that is true about a woman at any age.

 

Sources:

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1112716850/puberty-in-boys-age-102112/

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2013/10/30/peds.2012-3773.abstract

http://www.amazon.com/Little-Signet-Classics-Louisa-Alcott/dp/0451532082

http://www.americangirl.com/index.php

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2010/08/09/peds.2009-3079.abstract

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/precocious-puberty/DS00883

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/268337.php

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1112993027/us-girls-entering-puberty-earlier-than-ever-110413/

http://www.cdc.gov/exposurereport/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisphenol_A

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polybrominated_biphenyl

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endocrine_disruptor

http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2097388,00.html

http://www.bradley.edu/sites/bodyproject/sexuality/puberty/

http://www.jpeds.com/article/S0022-3476(07)00983-3/abstract

http://ww5.komen.org/BreastCancer/FirstPeriodOccursBeforeAge12.html

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23084519

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2927128/

https://www.lupronped.com/central-precocious-puberty/treating-precocious-puberty.aspx

http://www.biolreprod.org/content/56/4/1012.full.pdf

http://www.whale.to/a/sellman.html

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/424368-the-emerging-woman-will-be-strong-minded-strong-hearted-strong-souled-and

 

Quit Cumming, Save MANkind: The Detrimental Effects of Porn

porn hardoff

Watching porn only takes up like half of your day, it can’t be that bad! cracked.com

Though we’re a news site, I strive not to post on the bummers unless there are solutions to couple with ’em, especially when it comes to porn. The mainstream fear mongers feed enough of that drivel to the hungry baby boomer crowd, and here, we want your life to be better, at least in some way. So when I lay this terrible news on you, don’t freak out; there is an easy fix…

Get ready for…

Raw unbridled power. Soon you’ll have unparalleled focus, strength, and animal-magnetism enveloping your being like some all-mighty aura of tenacious suavity. Awesomeness. But first…

Before we take a stab at why you don’t have these things, women, this article isn’t meant for you. Glean some nifty tricks if you can, but the research happens to all be aimed at the fellas. And be forewarned, the Pandora’s Box of the male psyche really is disturbingly straight forward, so endeavor further at your own peril.

porn thumb drive

There are activities besides porn where my thumbs can come in handy? http://blogannath.blogspot.com

Gentlemen, I have some mixed news for you regarding porn. We’ve been shooting ourselves in the groin for countless generations, completely oblivious. As it turns out, when our monkey forefathers sprouted opposable thumbs nearly 70 million years ago, they launched our chimp brothers into a vortex of technological advancement, but unfortunately, in this same step, doomed our fraternal lineage to a fate of epidemic depression, anxiety, inferiority-complexes and erectile-dysfunction. No need to take bolt cutters to that wonderful fifth digit, there is an easier fix.

What’s wrong with my thumbs? And what does it have to do with porn?

Aside from allowing us, collectively, to construct tools, carry said tools, flush toilets and headshot noobs, our thumbs have been responsible for basically all of civilization as we know it, separating us through dexterity from the rest of the animal kingdom. Similarly magnanimous, from the pyramids of Giza to sliced bread, every great human advancement those little babies have rendered us capable of has stemmed from a single, all-encompassing species-driving motive: we wanted to impress women. Literally, all facets of culture and society can be broken into that basest motivation: mating. So when our primate cousins found their fingers all those generations ago, suddenly the rules of the game changed, because our every hardwired purpose for living could now be overridden in one effortless squirt. I’m talking about masturbation.

Don’t get all preachy on me now!

Relax. This isn’t some moralistic pseudo-religious naysaying on the evils of your naughty bits. The palm hair is safe.

The capacity to watch porn and masturbate has put us in a dilemma. We have a choice as men: we can study hard, trouncing all competitors, create an empire, amass a fortune, and (possibly) win the affections of some elusive supermodel goddess. Or, for the price of a bottle of Lubriderm and a stolen Wi-Fi connection, we can download ultra-high resolution close-ups of lady-bits and let our imaginations skip all that effort.

Low hanging fruit tastes better, we like to pretend.

I happen to enjoy my porn, thank you! Why is that a problem? 

It isn’t, necessarily. But there are definite drawbacks. Each ejaculation takes a toll on the philanderer’s wellbeing in several potent ways.

First, with each climax, a man losses a whole slew of essential vitamins and nutrients because semen is designed to give as much of a fighting chance to the new embryo as possible. In fact, each time we cum, we lose the protein equivalent of a large egg. That’s why we just want to nap afterward or find the whole thing gross; literally, our entire physiology is designed to propel us into this point of mutual orgasm, storing massive energy reserves to be spent at copulation, not to be squandered into a crusty sock.

Worse still, ejaculation expels testosterone reserves. Every fap session makes you less of a man in a very real sense, depleting you of your very chemical maleness (This does not apply to actual sex, however, which we’ll look at shortly. High-five!). Lastly, and we’ve covered this deeper in previous articles, masturbation effects dopamine levels on a similar scale to heroin, leading to obsessive-compulsiveness, thought-disorders, social anxiety and depression. Be honest, at some level, does that seem familiar?

You said there was good news?

Indeed, I did. Friends, if you masturbate because porn is easy and getting laid eludes you, we have some great news. Masturbating is why you’re not getting laid. You see, each time you lose that testosterone, first your body produces less pheromones, your natural arousal cologne, and the renewed secretion of pheromones creates this cloud of alpha-male essence around you, effortlessly attracting women and impressing your dominance upon fellow men.

Better still, with this unsquandered natural energy and social prowess, comfort and confidence in your own skin skyrockets, and your body instinctually makes you want to set aside the MMORPG’s and interact with other humans. You’re a natural at talking to girls, just not so much after the instant gratification of manual stimulation. Face to face socializing is what you were designed for.

Too good to be true? There are thousands of first-hand accounts of 180 degree life changes from simply giving your little buddy a rest, and closing out of the porn site. There are also massive support communities to help the transition into the new Casanova lifestyle. We all love our porn fellas, and the idea of losing our parents to cholera is probably more soothing than withdrawal from the sweet, sweet glories of a photoshopped Kate Upton…

porn kate upton

Damn, she looks good. But guess what? So do real girls. Porn is a poor substitute.

So how bout a quick self-check:

  • Do you exercise, dress classy, and/or groom your billy-goat beard from time to time, but still feel invisible to women?
  • Have you read any how-to’s by Neal Strauss?
  • Did you linger at that last photo (we all did)?
  • Does there seem like a collective decision by all woman-kind to blue-ball you?
  • Do you suspect you give the vibe of a man passing out candy from his windowless van?
  • Is your go-to stress relief the instant-gratification of internet porn?

Back to the science: Something About Mary had it backwards. Just go a few days without relief and a switch flips. Suddenly, you’re the center of everyone’s attention. Oh, thank God (teeth were gritted down to nubs of insecurity).

Can we talk about Porn?

I thought you’d never ask. Porn, fantastic as it may be, acts directly on the addiction centers of the brain. Our caveman minds are, frankly, not equipped for handling the endless feast of flesh at our fingertips thanks to the internet, because, physiologically, sex is geared to be the highest possible reward meant only for the healthiest most contributing-to-the-tribe males. This instant access is a major cause of the growing trend in apathy in the developed world. With the dopamine high of life’s ultimate purpose so reticently available, there is a dwindling (possibly non-human) percentage driven to true accomplishments.

Come on. It’s natural to like to look at women.

Totally. That’s not the point. No one’s judging. No one want’s to be told one of their favorite pastimes is a drain on them, or worse, that it’s an addiction. That’s between you and your penis to decide. By no means are we suggesting you become celibate (though many of the great minds in history went that route), or that you focus your chi to transmute your sex energy, but if your gut instinct was defensiveness, maybe try the no porn challenge for kicks.

As with all addictions, porn needs escalation to get the same thrill. So soft-core turns to hardcore turns to fetishes to taboos and tentacle-rape to friction scars and cut out front-pockets for easy access, until you’re crying over a bottle of merlot fantasizing about accidental eye-contact with the hostess at Applebee’s. (That’s universal, right?)

To getting a life. Cheers.

 

 

 

Sources:

5 Reasons Women are as Shallow as Men

7 Craziest Things Ever Done to Get Laid

The End of Low Hanging Fruit?

Composition of Human Semen

AskMen: What’s in Sperm?

Journal of Psychology: Sexual Exhaustion in Male Rats

Wondergressive: Sex is Just a Lack of Disgust

PubMed.gov: Ejaculation and Testosterone

Wondergressive: You and Your Internet on Porn

American Journal of Psychology: Subjective Experiences of Dopamine Depletion

PubMed.gov: Pheromonal Influences on Sociosexual Behavior in Men

Subject Experiences of Positive Porn Abstinence

IMDB: There’s Something About Mary 

Philip Zimbardo: Your Brain on Porn

Wondergressive: A Note on the Top 1%

A History of Celibacy 

Celibate Celebrities

The Mystery of Sex Transmutation

The 10 Steps to Porn Addiction

Oculolinctus: Eye Fetish

A Note on the Top 1%: Psychopaths or Superhumans?

 

A few days ago, we looked into the coming rise of a new species being developed by the technocrats; it’s nigh. Spectacular as this notion is, as it turns out, the next stage in human development has already arrived, interlaced inconspicuously amongst us, as though “They Live” were a documentary.

Doesn't anyone have a goddamn stick of gum?!

Doesn’t anyone have a goddamn stick of gum?!
http://www.releasedonkey.com

You see, everyone loves a good ethnic slur, but under our thin veil of cultural, linguistic, economic, and pigment differences, it’s understood that we’re all one collective unity of mankind. Hi, brothers and sisters. So with the utmost love and respect for all y’all round the globe (minus Canada, America’s ceaseless punchline), we can all join hands in an orgy of discrimination against the one group that’s not like the others. Proudly, I’ll stand on my soapbox of an anonymous keyboard and proclaim something we’ve all long suspected, but never voiced: “yuppies aren’t human.”

…Literally… Let me explain

If there’s one thing I’d gleaned from my last stint in the psych-ward (like you didn’t suspect), it’s how, like an uncured slab of beef, the lines between mental illnesses, unfortunately, are neither cut nor dry (consider the utter failure of the DSM). A great deal of consensus, however, stands in the psychologist community to where these muddied lines can be drawn, and the word “psychopath” is not a term bandied lightly, folks. A psychopath, apparently, is not always the image immediately drawn to mind of some knife wielding pariah, glazed in dried mustard and animal-semen (gross), prowling the subway adorned only in a single strategically-placed pool-floatie, who passes the day lobbing “Jesus saves” paper-airplane pamphlets at jaded urbanites. Nah, he’s probably wearing a silk tie, Gucci perhaps.

Psychopaths, in fact, while occasionally criminal masterminds, are masterful social chameleons, often indistinguishable from the crowd. Preconceived notions blown. A new theoretical analysis suggests that psychopathy is not merely a mental disorder, though, but rather the psychopath is a separate new sub-species of human altogether, a new animal. No joke. Sure, Patrick Bateman may lob revving chainsaws upon fleeing call-girls, but he wasn’t human, so it’s copacetic.  Evolution, it seems, just won’t take a day off. Psychopathy is categorized with traits of:

 

  • glib and superficial charm
  • grandiose (exaggeratedly high) estimation of self
  • need for stimulation
  • pathological lying
  • cunning and manipulativeness
  • lack of remorse or guilt
  • shallow affect (superficial emotional responsiveness)
  • callousness and lack of empathy
  • parasitic lifestyle
  • poor behavioral controls
  • sexual promiscuity
  • early behavior problems
  • lack of realistic long-term goals
  • impulsivity
  • irresponsibility
  • failure to accept responsibility for own actions
  • many short-term marital relationships
  • juvenile delinquency
  • revocation of conditional release
  • criminal versatility

To sum all that up, psychopaths (henceforth redubbed Homo PsychopathiusTM) are highly-intelligent, calculating, manipulative machines of self-interested ambition, lacking the capacity for conscience due to the inability to feel emotion. They are a manifestation of the cliché wolf in sheep’s clothing as a predator in white-collar work clothes, and these things aren’t human.

With an untappable spigot of raw uninhibited self-interest at its disposal, Homo Psychopathius often rises to the top of whatever organization/ field it sets its aim at. They are natural visionaries, innovators, and leaders of men, so it just makes sense that, statistically, the career with the highest propensity for psychopathy is nothing less than the CEO.

Over the last few decades, as you’ve undoubtedly noticed, the global power regime has shifted reigns from the uber-nation to the empire-corporation being the vaster colossus of influence. Our ruling class, then, are the highly-competent next stage in evolution, being more adapted for the major-leagues without the nuisance of those silly outdated oddities called feelings. Further still, note this list of the top ten careers Homo Psychopathius are found in, not forgetting the psychopath, more often than not, is at the forefront head of his field:

 

1. CEO
2. Lawyer
3. Media (Television/Radio)
4. Salesperson
5. Surgeon
6. Journalist
7. Police officer
8. Clergy person
9. Chef
10. Civil servant

Wait! Wait! Wait! Holy shit! What are you saying?

This thing is smarter than you, vastly more driven to power. It controls the companies you work for; it represents your legal system, decides what news you hear, tells you what to consume (down to a science), holds your life in its hands, arrests your deviants, propagates your religions, and it dominates your politics… oh yeah, and cooks your food (never trust a guy with a set of personally engraved knives, I guess).

We’re not alarmist here. Rather, I propose a happy compromise over this news: as successful as these things have proven themselves to be, rising to the apex of society, I offer that we humans dutifully permit this new animal to take the reins (cause it already has) as the new dominant species of the planet. You win, psychopaths. Game over. Anyway, our outdated human machine doesn’t mind serving as the structural base for your mighty overlord will. We’re more suited for playing Minecraft, masturbating, and following your orders. It’s kinda what we’re good at. If it’s not overly presumptuous of me to assume the diplomat between our 2 great peoples, let me be the first of my kind to say, “I vow my allegiance. All hail the morlocks! (I’m on board, guys. Eat someone else’s kids.)”

Fellow sapians, kinda brings the whole “Occupy Wall Street” thing into a new light, huh? Looks like the X-Men comics had it right all along: the 1% with all the powers really were the next stage of human evolution.

Take it; leave it; use it as an excuse to embrace your inner asshole.

Either way, let the hate mail commence.

 

 

 

Sources:

Wondergressive: The Singularity is Nigh Upon Us

I’m Here To Chew Bubblegum

Ari Shaffir: The Amazing Racist

Wondergressive: Impossible to Distinguish Sane from Insane

Wondergressive: You Might be a Psychopath

CBS: DSM New Psych Bible

People Claiming to be Jesus

Psychopath: a New Subspecies

Patrick Bateman

Psychopathy List

PubMed.gov: Genetic Risk for Psychopathy in 7 Year Olds

PubMed.gov: Corporate Psychopathy

Psychopathy and the CEO

Corporate Psychopaths and Global Financial Crisis

Corporate Psychopaths: Bullying and Unfair Supervision

MSN: 10 Sneaky Care Dealer Tricks

Who Runs the World: Global Corporate Control

Minecraft

Morlock

Occupy Wall Street

Polar Bears are all Descended from a Single Bear: The Genghis Khan of Bears

 

Genghis Khan was a pretty remarkable dude, not only for his ability to kill and conquer with unparalleled fervor and success, but also for his ability to please the ladies, lots and lots of ladies.  According to genetic research, it is estimated that Genghis Khan’s descendants living today are currently numbered at around 16 million, or .05% of the entire world population of males.

Recent research suggests that humans are not the only species to have a common ancestor that really ‘got around.’  Researchers have found that polar bears are all descended from a single mamma brown bear that lived in present-day Ireland between 20,000 to 50,000 years ago.

DNA samples from the great white carnivores – taken from across their entire range in Russia, Canada, Greenland, Norway and Alaska – revealed that every individual’s lineage could be traced back to this Irish forebear.

This apparently gorgeous brown bear is the ancestor of ALL polar bears living today, and I can only assume she would be devastated to see her plethora of grandchildren struggling to survive atop the globe that she once called her sexual battleground.

A cross between a polar bear and a grizzly, a pizzlie, used to be far more common, but as time went on polar bears and grizzlies went their separate ways and became very different genetically, with polar bears being more adept at swimming and hunting seal, and grizzlies being more adept at climbing.

Despite being a different species, not sub-species, the two bears were, and are still able to mate.  As the ice caps melt, and polar bears are pushed further and further south, the world is beginning to spot more and more pizzlies.  This hybridization is giving polar bears an evolutionary advantage as they are now able to live in both worlds, albeit being less proficient at surviving in each one.  It is a juggle between survival through hunting ability, and survival through being able to fundamentally exist in your environment (ie. the melting ice caps).

The Genghis Khan of Bears would be proud to know that her snow-white offspring are making a comeback.  Next up in the evolutionary path of bears, sky-iron armor!

 

Sources: 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genghis_Khan

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/02/0214_030214_genghis.html

http://www.australiangeographic.com.au/journal/all-polar-bears-descended-from-one-grizzly.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grizzly%E2%80%93polar_bear_hybrid

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Races_and_creatures_in_His_Dark_Materials#Armoured_Bears_.28panserbj.C3.B8rne.29

 

 

The Loudest Penis on Earth

Penises are generally quiet body parts, but there’s a certain penis out there with the power to be heard loud and clear. The water boatman, that insect we’ve all seen skirting across the top of lakes, ponds and puddles, has the loudest penis in the world.  Its penis also makes it the loudest animal on the planet relative to its size.

By rubbing its penis across its abdomen, a process called stridulation (rubbing two body parts together to produce sound), the water boatman is able to produce a mating call that has been measured  at

up to 99.2 decibels, the equivalent of listening to a loud orchestra play while sitting in the front row.

We shouldn’t give the 2mm shaftaphone player too much credit though as its mating call, on average, only measures a measly

78.9 decibels, comparable to a passing freight train.

Luckily for us land lubbers, the water boatman plays his tromboner underwater, which dampens the sound of its genital symphony by 99%.

According to engineering expert Dr James Windmill, who is part of the study, the surprising ability may have wider applications than just pleasing the water boatladies and leaving humans’ mouths agape.  He believes states that:

We really don’t know how they make such a loud sound using such a small area. These very small bugs create sound at very high level, and it could be very useful for future ultrasonic systems to learn how they do that.

It appears the future of ultrasonics lies in the miraculous ability of a tiny penis.

 

Sources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corixidae

http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/13958630

A New Tune for Grasshoppers

The days are long gone when the noise of crickets filled the city nights. I’m sure being overtaken by the sound of traffic was depressing for many animals, but they’re not all just laying down and dying. Some city grasshoppers have started changing their tune. They’re not so depressed anymore, or so quiet.

Grasshoppers in urban areas are changing the tune of their courtship songs so as to be heard over the sound of traffic.

A research team from the University of Bielefeld Germany have discovered some grasshoppers have started to change the frequency of their song to be heard over the roar of vehicles. This evolutionary change in grasshoppers could is very exciting to see. I can only imagine what the future will bring…
Sources:

http://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/320/20121123/grasshoppers-change-courtship-tunes-cope-urban-noises.htm

http://www.uni-bielefeld.de/(en)/

 

Related Wondergressive Articles:

Why Don’t We Eat Insects?

A Tick is Turning People into Vegetarians for Life

Mystery of the Dying/Disappearing Honeybees Solved

Healthy Honey Bees

Natural, Living Pesticides

Teens Give Head at Unprecedented Rates

The CDC has announced that two thirds of teens have had oral sex, the same number as those that have had sexual intercourse.  This reflects a complete change in the hierarchy of sexual intercourse compared to previous generations.

Oral sex was thought to be used to defer vaginal sex, but that is far from the truth. Kids are regularly engaging in oral sex just as much as they practice vaginal sex.

Even more interestingly, the previous gender gap of ‘give and take’ in regards to oral sex has virtually disappeared.  The researchers found that ” girls and boys gave and received oral sex equally and that sexual activity began at roughly the same age, with 44% of 15- to 17-year-old boys and 39% of girls of that age engaging in some kind of sexual activity with an opposite-sex partner.”

Although it is nearly impossible to contract aids orally, and impossible to become pregnant, there is still the risk of disease.  This has lead experts to believe there is more need than ever to make oral sex part of regular sex education.  Or, in my opinion, actually teach kids about sex during regular sex education.

What is the point of delaying the inevitable and potentially putting our children at risk just because we are afraid they might lose the innocence we ascribe to them?  I have news for you; your child was born a human, there is nothing non-sexual or innocent about them.

Do your child a favor, take responsibility and educate them fully about the world you brought them into.

Teens Give Head at Unprecedented Rates: Oral Sex On the Rise

 

The CDC has announced that two thirds of teens have had oral sex, the same number as those that have had sexual intercourse.  This reflects a complete change in the hierarchy of sexual intercourse compared to previous generations.

Oral sex was thought to be used to defer vaginal sex, but that is far from the truth. Kids are regularly engaging in oral sex just as much as they practice vaginal sex.

Even more interestingly, the previous gender gap of ‘give and take’ in regards to oral sex has virtually disappeared.  The researchers found that

girls and boys gave and received oral sex equally and that sexual activity began at roughly the same age, with 44% of 15- to 17-year-old boys and 39% of girls of that age engaging in some kind of sexual activity with an opposite-sex partner.”

Although it is nearly impossible to contract AIDS orally, and impossible to become pregnant, there is still the risk of disease.  This has lead experts to believe there is more need than ever to make oral sex part of regular sex education.  Or, in my opinion, actually teach kids about sex during regular sex education.

What is the point of delaying the inevitable and potentially putting our children at risk just because we are afraid they might lose the innocence we ascribe to them?  I have news for you; your child was born a human, there is nothing non-sexual or innocent about them.

Do your child a favor, take responsibility and educate them fully about the world you brought them into.

 

Sources:

USA Today: Teen Oral Sex Rates Reflect a “Hierarchical Reordering”

CDC: Sexual Risk Behavior: HIV, STD, & Teen Pregnancy Prevention

 

CDC: National Health Statistics Report: 

Prevalence and Timing of Oral Sex with
Opposite-sex Partners Among Females and Males
Aged 15–24 Years: United States, 2007–2010